personal space cowboy

perfect son of a bitch ⋅˚ ଳ⋆*:･𓇼

[personal space cowboy @hjhornaday]

Unfortunately for everybody I will keep doing whatever I want

[spongebobham2billion @spongebobhamtwo]

Using the phrase "I'm willing to bet my life on it" as a way of saying I'm like 60% sure

[Tony Hawk’s Post Maker @rfknephew]

Lady behind me on the Amtrak has fallen asleep and her phone is blasting a clip of Whoopi Goldberg going “DONT KNOCK UP YOUR BEST FRIEND, THATS ABSURD” on repeat

[sandy @satosgs]

stepdad has parasocial beef with a man in our neighbourhood who walks around with a parrot in his shoulder because he’s being “performative”

[ᶜᵒᵘʳᵗ @tropicaIghost]

i’d probably get kicked off of love island for saying “i’m going to kill myself” after every single thing that happens

[limpkin @acealeam]

girlfriend called... DECLINE! busy whore! busy with my CREEK

[Nick Kapur @nick_kapur]

I keep coming back to the "Doorman fallacy" when I hear about how Harvard has hired McKinsey to help it fire up to 25% of its staff without asking anyone what they actually do.

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

covering up a loud fart by an even louder banging of the gong i carry with me at all times

[ravn @mfnravn]

and if i saw an alien i wouldn’t even give af honestly i got too much going on fr

[jean @TW1NKD3STR0YER]

recently spoke with a pre verbal baby. he was holding milk i was holding wine. he offered me his milk; i said im good. he then gestured for my wine. i said you cannot have this

[kelsey weekman @kelsaywhat]

in straight male culture, showing someone a youtube video means you love them. i thought justin bieber was perfect

[k @lmkwhenurhome]

great. this chick next to me just left the coffee shop as i was about to so now i have to wait an extra half an hour as not to look fickle, inspired.

[كات @jukqok]

como me siento cuando soy yo la que responde “no se que decirte”

[👩‍💻 @weirdassfishes]

I want to bring up Clavicular saying You’re Uncle Tom-maxxing in conversation but the people i surround myself with are pretty and wear clothes from Free People

[❦ @saintdoII]

new ralph lauren is EVERYTHING HOLD ON!!!

[HerodotusWave @HerodotusWave]

This is an antique or custom-made hardwood parquet flooring with a brass star inlay.

[eden poughsee @chemodoll]

@flopgrl naming myself ireland cuz im a huge fan of the way my money dublin

[travis👍 @higgzorz]

You can always pour big cups of juice when you come over. I have feelings for you.

[Brendan O'Hare @brendohare]

ME: I will have 4 blueberry muffins for dinner please
DUNKIN DONUTS CASHIER: Please do not tell us that you're having them for dinner

[Archaeology & Art @archaeologyart]

Pictorial Zodiac Rug with Solar Mask (Khorshid Khanoom). Attributed origin: Kerman (possibly Lavar/Ravar workshops), Southeast Persia (Iran). Attributed date: Early 20th century. Medium: Hand-knotted wool pile. Private Collection.⁣