🦇

*** *****

[rory ✦* @vaurealis]

she's a 10 but she's a 9. she's an 8. she has a red wire and a blue wire. you don't know which to cut. she's a 7

[chloe @sardine_enjoyer]

everything is about sex, except sex, which is about Microsoft Teams

[ryan @ryanallen316]

giving Goodreads users quarter stars is like giving a medieval peasant a particle accelerator

[клеопин @kleopin]

я аж подавилась чаем

[венский конгресс @howlerbat]

Я обожаю стихи Бернса, потому что как истинный шотландец он пишет только на темы, по-настоящему волнующие человека, напимер "Я скучаю по родному краю" или "Меня заебала эта зубная боль"

[🦇 @huyamphries]

the way I instantly knew gale is the pregnant one

[nic @nicnacsnicnacs]

just helped a woman at work and she set her phone down and she was scrolling ao3 full brightness omegaverse mpreg baldur’s gate

[riisen @riisenlol]

when she has a praise kink but she's lowkey not that good at things

[leia 🕊️ @sansapondulac]

working in fast food

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

if you play your cards right, you can actually pick a career where the most traumatic things of your life happen to you in the middle of your work day

[Mike Truk ⛁ @Wallop4000]

One Day my Wife is Going to Wake Up to go to Work and Find My Unhinged Jaw Wrapped Around Her Waist as i Attempt to Devour Her Whole like a Python

[Becci/Becks ☭⚢ | Windsong's mole @virusgnom3]

wait wife, China is not too far #拉拉

[siri pause 🫪 @lezzstat420]

Stop I love u idiot.

[🦇 @huyamphries]

@fffeighteseven С ПОПОЛНЕНИЕМ

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

god reveals secrets to me via numeric combinations in microsoft authenticator

[soul/pity ˘ ˃̶᷄ ₃ ˂ ⌯) evil wicked boy @ognyandere]

“forcemasc tiktok” “forcefem fyp” I think I’m lost y’all I’m on forcebob tiktok

[Шиза&База @shkotobaza]

суууука

[zoë bread @zoebread]

not being able to let things go is a symptom of having wet glue on your hands