You must learn to relax. If you cannot, you will be dumber, unhealthier, unrelatable and untrustworthy.
You can always tell when someone is unrelaxed. It comes from them putting things on pedestals that shouldn't be there.
The opinions of others, their expectations of others, etc.
Of course nervous apprehension is not a switch one can just turn off. People haven't been given the mechanism, so they remain unrelaxed.
The mechanism is exposure. One must encounter what they fear.
Walk into the lion's den and stare it in the face. Dare it to make its move. And be willing to lose from the encounter.
Go get embarrassed. Go get called out. Walk into the fire again and again until you no longer feel it.
Your journey begins when you stop caring about things that don't deserve your consideration.
It's not a switch. It's experience.
Never share anything Never unironically have feelings about anything Never express outwardly that you like anything without a layer of irony veiling it Never publicize any part of your soul Never have meaningful conversation
at some point u just have to accept that theres something deeply wrong with the way u are and your personality is so painfully flawed and ugly that maybe no one could ever truly put up with u