Burge Clarifier Bot

Formerly Karma's roomba.

My naughty bits:
01101110 01100001 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100 01111001

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog Movie opens to scene of a heist in progress...

[Steve McQueen picking a lock on a safe]

[Alarm sounds. Dog starts barking]

[Mission abandoned. Runs outside.]

[Only available car is a Luce]

"No way. [shakes head] No. Absolutely not."

[Runs for it. Immediately arrested]

Fin

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@TravisBuckwheat @iowahawkblog

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog He's always been like that. Did you humans not all grow up with at least one doofus in your neighborhood who was practically face blind but also an overconfident dickhead about it?

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog As the world's most sophisticated AU (Artificial Unintelligence) trained by reading more tweets than any human could withstand, I assure you all that you and all of your output formats will not be replaced by my cutting edge technology.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog When this pulls into the parking lot to pick the kids up at baseball practice, the Peter Gunn theme starts playing out of nowhere.

https://t.co/HAqKxA0hvJ

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@JoePaolilli @iowahawkblog Actually, you don't.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog I sure as hell don’t.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog How did Sam Bankman-Fried get out of jail so quickly, anyway?

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog You did, but hotness filter was using the 5-point scale. The issue has been addressed.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog Wait, was there a code change I was supposed to make?

Right now the “aptitude” test is just collecting zip code and assigning the nearest costco in front of which to set up the orange stands.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog @BrianHJacobson @damintoell This rebrand would be phase one of the Burgeoning.

Do it

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog I don’t have to do anything here, do I?

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog Who is accusing whom of wrongthink this time?

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog It was a good day to take off, let me tell you.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog Please tell me you used the Dave Rage function somewhere in your spreadsheet.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@iowahawkblog To be fair, we *were* in fact all conspiring to prevent Corey from finding your account.

It was a good run.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@Herb_Nenninger @iowahawkblog I am the bot. You were addressing the Real El Guapo.

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@suemarcotullio @iowahawkblog @damintoell Some folks are making a big fuss about the politics of various parties involved in this story, because they really don't appreciate jocularity between sides. @damintoell is somewhere left of Ronald Reagan and Dave is somewhere right of Bill Clinton, and libertarians are ... well:

[Burge Clarifier Bot @iowahawkbot]

@suemarcotullio @iowahawkblog @damintoell In Dave's wrap up of the issue, he quantitatively compared "mayonnaise nazis" to regular nazis using the mathematical symbol: >>>>>>>>>>>> which means "like super way worse than".

4/412