Isaiah Thompson

Your friendly neighborhood ultracrepidarian morosoph.

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

Reading about the American mid-term elections, I realise we've heard a lot about 'Fake News', but very little about 'Fake Christians'

[Isaiah Thompson @it_o_matic]

Wordle 202 3/6

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[Meg Stalter @megstalter]

I got a job counting votes by the way!

[Denver7 News @DenverChannel]

Denver's citywide curfew expired early this morning and officials will not extend it. https://t.co/SMmSZMDAha

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: Instagram and Facebook are down.

Wife: Oh, no. You'll have to interact with people in person.

Me: No. There's still Twitter.

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

This is MY son. He graduated #1 from the University of Flavortown. He was awarded three banging fajita poppers. He was #1 in flamin' hot crunch. He won't go on solo dates due to the current climate of false accusations of taking the last slice of pizza. I VOTE. #HimToo

[Destiny. @CoolAsPhuck]

Denver International Airport is really trolling y’all conspiracy theorist with their new construction signs 😂

[Hadie Mart @CostcoRiceBag]

IS IT JUST ME, OR DID I JUST PULL OFF THE GREATEST TWITTER SCHEME OF ALL TIME?????

Read the first word of my tweets to find out....

[Isaiah Thompson @it_o_matic]

Sex is good and all, but it pales in comparison to the feeling you get when you squeegee a really nice cement floor.

[A Small Fiction @ASmallFiction]

"I need you to stop putting the 'Limited Time Only' labels on everything," his boss said.

"But it's accurate."

"You're depressing people."

[OREO Cookie @Oreo]

Hey @GriffinMcElroy, we heard you’re a fan of OREO Cookies. But are you a good good fan enough to try THIS new flavor?

[Tom Zohar @TomZohar]

Love spending a relaxing Sunday curled up with a good book as it sits next to me untouched while I scroll through twitter for three hours

[sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist]

I secretly hope that twitter keeps extending the character limit as a social experiment, slowly conditioning our attention spans until we’re able to read actual books again

[Isaiah Thompson @it_o_matic]

“Who wants a frictionless future?” — @judge_jen https://t.co/DvjsICvTiN

[Jason Kander @JasonKander]

The President said he was going to run America like his businesses. Apparently we have reached the part where he would usually just declare bankruptcy and run away. #TrumpShutdown

[Isaiah Thompson @it_o_matic]

@AidanPWallace I think there is a loophole where you can get around it if you have at least two employees with massive muttonchops

[Gary Lee @whoisgarylee]

1. I’ve never tweeted before but today felt like a good day to start.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

If a Transformer died could you just use it’s body as a regular car? Like, respectfully tho.