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[DHH @dhh]

Worse men than you have solved bigger problems than yours.

[Arc 🦃 @arcgustine]

Honestly if they sent a honeypot after me she’d probably fall in love with me and betray China

[Drahniér #FreeUsmanNurmagomedov @Drahnier0]

My body her choice

[cipher @C1phervoyager]

Why the fuck did no one in my entire bloodline lock in and make a billion dollars?
Like, the fuck were yall doing that whole time?
Why do I gotta be the one to do it man?

[Dani. @Danizeh]

Chinese X is some of the funniest shit ever 😭

[Bob P. Dubz @DubzBob]

Mr Brightside is being replaced with a call to prayer. Remember to orient yourself towards the northeast endzone to directionally face Mecca

[Koph @Bqsura]

Bruh at 19 I touched 20 bands without ever working a job now I’m just a 9-5 Peon bro wtf happened

[🏩🦞🍺🐱🍈🐛🐠🪼🩻🦪🕸️ @i0lanthe_]

Woke up morning after & my penis was just gone. Just gone. Dems works fast

[s @itakebids]

@justsoicanlogin inb4 u delete ur whole library trying to delete 1 file

[. @halaldaiz]

michigan get ready to wake up to the fajr adhan

[Crub @CrubTV]

IT’S NOT 2004 CHUDS ISLAMOPHOBIA DON’T WORK NO MORE WE HAVE A SHAWARMA SHOP IN EVERY TOWN AND WHITE BOYS ARE SAYING INSHALLAH UNIRONICALLY IT’S OVER FOR YOU

[🧞‍♀️ @waycuntay]

WE PUTTING HAMAS ON THE $100 BILLS!!!!!!!!

[read.pourteaux.xyz ⋆ ˚｡⋆ @pourteaux]

it’s crazy that the Right had two years to do literally whatever they wanted and they spent it enriching themselves, bombing iran, and protecting pedophiles

[jake 4k 🫯 @jake2160p]

All national anthems must now be sung facing Mecca

[It's interesting, the tweets @ThankYouNewJoe]

Every Chick-fil-A is now closed for Jummah Friday prayer

[AKHENATEN HQ @EgyptCEO]

EID IS ABOUT TO BE A FEDERAL HOLIDAY PLEASE PICK UP YOUR BURKAS AND QURANS FROM THE GENDER REASSIGNMENT CENTERS TOMORROW

[Adam Silver's Malignant Pancreas Tumor @MailmanStalker]

I want 10 million illegal immigrants drunk driving on the street by midnight

[Joey Mannarino @JoeyMannarino]

ENJOY ISLAM!

[Bill Nickelson @Bill_Nickelson]

Every single data center will now be converted into a mosque.

[alex bronzini-vender @alexbronzini]

We are going to replace the Constitution with the Quran.