Patrick Holbert

Standup comedian living in NYC

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

My homie @itsPatrickH expects too much from his family during road trips. Be better than Patrick this holiday season.

[Patrick Holbert @itsPatrickH]

@GastorAlmonte that job is recession proof!

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

No turning back now for @itsPatrickH ​⁠and I. We’ve already planned out our life after comedy. Hopefully Walmart will bring us in at 65.

[Billy Procida @TheBillyProcida]

If the New York Comedy Festival had too much pants for you, try this next Thursday! #NYCF20

with @MadeleinMurphy @bossy_dawsey @TheHolberReport @KidJersh @Amitrani717 @jadslay @cactus_frankie

https://t.co/7XJemdKfcA

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

Am I still a snob if my opinion is right? Yall tell me. W/ @TheHolberReport on #WHASFT

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

I can’t co-sign kissing your dogs on the mouth. Love your pets - but there’s a line. @TheHolberReport comes close to crossing it.

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

The context determines if it’s a happy moment or a sad moment. W/ @TheHolberReport

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

I couldn’t go on living a lie. Talking w/ @TheHolberReport on #WHASFT

[Patrick Holbert @itsPatrickH]

I’ll work on new jokes anywhere that has lumbar support. #standup #comedy #podcast #brooklyn w/ @GastorAlmonte

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

Sometimes a rough week makes you consider moving to a small town in Florida w/@TheHolberReport

[Davin Rosenblatt @DavinComedy]

Comedy this week: Weds 10/16 @andiamonj in Haworth, NJ starring Kris Shaw @mikekeeganlol @TheHolberReport Tix 201-384-1551.

#standupcomedy #standupcomedian #comedyshow #comedynight #dinnerandshow #liveentertainment #nightout #datenight #girlsnightout #haworthnj #dumontnj

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

Sometimes your wife is a comedy show producer and doesn’t know it. From the latest #WHASFT w/@TheHolberReport & @GastorAlmonte

[Joe List @JoeListComedy]

I made a film about my friend, comedian @Tom_Dustin I think it’s very good and very funny. It features a lot of his killer stand up and some great stories. It’s also quite poignant. I’m excited for folks to see it. We’re doing a NYC premiere October 10th. Get your tickets now.
It’s a small theater and will sell out.

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

I told @TheHolberReport the key to focusing on family time while on vacation on the latest #WHASFT

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

Which Disney prince tells your story? Find out which one speaks to Me on the latest #WHASFT w/@TheHolberReport

[Billy Procida @TheBillyProcida]

THIS FRIDAY! no fit checks on The Naked Comedy Show!

8pm
@silkyjumbo @TheHolberReport @bridgetmfoley @jameskingcomedy & Julia Desmond

10pm
@DylanAdler6 @DwayneCullen @hipsoccermom_ Hanna Gerlander & Camille Roberts

https://t.co/2mIAbiImBI

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

Exploring the Hudson River w/ @TheHolberReport on the latest #WHASFT

Always learning #encyclopedia

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

How responsible is my 23 year old brother? I trust him - but only so much. #kicks #WHASFT

[Gastor Almonte @GastorAlmonte]

New Yorkers live to test the limits of what “pets allowed” means.

[Patrick Holbert @itsPatrickH]

Kitchen Nightmares: Toddler Edition #funny #standup #comedy #podcast #montessori #toddler