Teemux

brain got more folds than a paper crane (he/him)

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@BlackKnight10k She's classy, she announced that she isn't connected to Epstein.

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

Parents will be like "You are the most important thing to me, aside from my collection of load-bearing delusions."

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

Guy who pretends to care about fascism: You're obsessed w/ppl who didn't vote for the non-fascist

[Arturo Dominguez @extremearturo]

@neeratanden You keep making this about one man and glossing over the fascism because you don't like the guy. That says more about you than you think it does.

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@theoluminati What if God was one of them

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@CartoonsHateHer You can't draw SpongeBob, can you?

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@CartoonsHateHer I'm not the type of guy to say "Your brother got your ass" but your brother got your ass.

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@theoluminati yeah it's wild to see these R politicians talk like Jon Irenicus

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

Women will be 5 apples tall and demand a guy over 6 feet. Yeah well I'm looking for a woman who weighs 2.5 apples.

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@agraybee @mcldenisj *hotwiring your car* no, you're not listening to me, I don't feel heard

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@LinkofSunshine @rowanfornow Rowan's basically the opposite of Drake

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@stacycay Libs don't realize: it's China's turn

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

I actually like when I listen to a song with headphones on and it sounds like someone else in the apartment is hammering

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@theoluminati L*tinx

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@CartoonsHateHer I don't think you're an average "pick me" tho. Like if there's one good "pick me," it's you.

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@CartoonsHateHer If you ever confuse me with someone else just let me know and I'll adopt their personality

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@caitlin_mmm Me *approaching a woman I have a crush on*: To be clear, I *can* think of you in a lustful way

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@SarahLongwell25 We must banish anyone who does focus groups out of our coalition. You have considered the perspective of the median voter, therefore you are forever unclean.

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@theoluminati It's so unfair that he chose to be a hypocrite and you end up punched because of it

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@caitlin_mmm Please take a rest from fighting injustice. You can't have the weight of the world on your shoulder.

[Teemux @itsTeemux]

@turntineforwhat @BigBirdfyx