Brittany Crawford

Shadow crew. Wife & mother. Interests include technology, education, business & investing, travel, poker, and trash TV. Views are my own. RT🚫endorsement.

[just josh Pray 😥 @_joshpray]

Dolly Parton somehow stayed 25 for 55 years, built an empire in rhinestones, loved God without weaponizing it, welcomed everybody, gave back endlessly and made being kind look powerful. ❤️

Ultra feminine. Business savvy. Inclusive. Faithful. Funny. Generous. Completely Dolly.

There will NEVER be another one. Rest beautifully, Dolly. 🕊️💎

[Some.BYU.Dude @ByuSome]

So has everyone cancelled games against LSU and issued a bunch of statements how what they're doing is impacting the integrity of the game? Or was that just for show against Texas Tech?

[Megyn Kelly @megynkelly]

Dolly Parton seemed as close to total goodness as any mere mortal could come. She united us all in our love and admiration for her and, now, in mourning her.
God bless you Dolly. R.I.P.

[Brittany Crawford @itsmebrittdee]

I feel seen (and old???)

[KD$ign @KnoxEndemic]

Apparently concert venues are having a hard time getting Millennials to fill the seats. Well, hello. Millennial here. I think I can help.

DEAR CONCERT VENUES:

🎟️ Just tell me what the ticket costs. I do not want to select a $79 ticket and discover at checkout that it is actually $146 because of a facility fee, service fee, processing fee, and a fee for having successfully paid the other fees.

📱 Stop making ticket buying a military operation. I should not need three apps, a verified fan code, a presale password from a credit card I don’t own, and 11:00 AM availability on a Tuesday to buy two seats.

💺 Assigned seats. We did our time standing shoulder-to-shoulder at shows in 2008. Some of us have mortgages now. Some of us have sciatica.

🕖 Start earlier. A 7 PM show is not embarrassing. In fact, I would like to formally recognize whoever invented the 7 PM show.

⏰ And tell us the actual times. “Doors at 7” is not useful information if the opener starts at 8:15 and the person I came to see appears at 10:07.

🚗 Parking instructions written for a normal person. Tell me which garage to use, what it costs, and whether I will spend 55 minutes trying to leave it afterward. I am willing to pay $20 for certainty.

🍺 I will buy your $14 beer. I have accepted this. But if I miss three songs waiting for it, you have broken the social contract.

🚽 Enough bathrooms. We are in our 30s and 40s. Half of us have had children. This is now infrastructure.

🔉 It can still be loud. We are Millennials, not the Greatest Generation. But some of us are bringing earplugs now and we are no longer ashamed of it.

DEAR ARTISTS:

⏰ Please go on roughly when you said you would. We have babysitters. The babysitter has an end time. This is now a logistics problem involving several adults.

🎤 Play the songs from 2004–2014. You know which ones. We know which ones. Nobody needs to pretend otherwise.

🎶 Play some new stuff. Absolutely. We support your continued artistic development. But there is a point in the evening when you need to play the song that was on our iPod Nano while we drove to high school.

📵 You can tell us to put our phones away. We secretly want someone to make us do this anyway.

🪑 An intermission would not offend us. We can use the bathroom, answer the babysitter, check whether the dog has destroyed anything, and look at Zillow for eight minutes.

And please understand: Millennials still like concerts.

We have disposable income now. We are nostalgic. We will absolutely spend irresponsible amounts of money to hear a band we first discovered on LimeWire.

But we also have jobs, children, dogs, mortgages, lower-back problems, and a very clear memory of when concert tickets cost $35.

You want Millennials back?

Make it easy to buy the ticket. Tell us when the show actually starts. Give us somewhere to sit. Play the song from 2007.

We’ll be there.

We just need to be home by 11.

[Brittany Crawford @itsmebrittdee]

Postpartum depression is real. Our healthcare system has significant failures.

Also, it is wrong to murder, and murderers should be punished severely. A mom murdering her own children should be unfathomable and inexcusable to all of us.

[Brittany Crawford @itsmebrittdee]

@BillAckman - a real life Batman. Our society has decided billionaires are the bad guy. I applaud you for turning unfortunate events into an advancement for mankind. Prayers for your daughter. Prayers for society to understand what is true and what they’ve been told aren’t the same. Prayers for the U.S. of A.

[Allie Beth Stuckey @conservmillen]

We can have grace for people’s struggles - postpartum and otherwise - without excusing or minimizing the methodical murder of children. Lindsay Clancy may have been suffering from psychosis - none of us really knows - but all people who commit heinous crimes are probably suffering from some level of insanity. I’m sorry that she may have been suffering and that she didn’t have the support she needed. But once we start negating accountability for evil because of mental health diagnoses, we forgo justice altogether. I’m not willing to do that.

[Brittany Crawford @itsmebrittdee]

@RobHasApodcast @maximusmom13 Can’t wait to see this on bbunlocked creator corner.

[Clay Travis @ClayTravis]

New York City’s budget is larger than the state of Florida’s. Florida has triple the population of New York City, yet spends less. How in the world is it possible Mamdani needs MORE tax dollars? Insanity.

[Mila Joy @Milajoy]

Obama made Americans get health insurance, or you paid a fine.

Biden made people inject an experimental shot, or they lost their jobs.

Tell me again how Trump is a fascist dictator…

[Gary @plzbepatient]

Amazon exited the low/mid market grocery business (Amazon Fresh) because even the most ruthlessly capitalist company on earth couldn’t figure out how to make the margins work, but I’m glad Mamdani isn’t constrained by things like fiscal solvency

[Magatte Wade @magattew]

Socialism is easiest to love from a country where the shelves are already full.

[Eric Matheny @ericmmatheny]

Job Opening:

Part-time work with starting salary $174,000. Opportunity for “bonuses” based on insider trading and willingness to compromise ethics.

Unlimited vacation days!

No skills or experience required.

Run for Congress today!

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 35 times a day, create deliverables for key stakeholders, and circle back offline.

[Rep. Nancy Mace @RepNancyMace]

Prosecute Fauci.

[Dave Smith @ComicDaveSmith]

Fauci for prison is the moderate position.

[Brittany Crawford @itsmebrittdee]

Lawmakers - THIS is why you shouldn’t tax unrealized gains. It’s all paper funny money until it’s sold… at which point, it gets taxed.

[Brittany Crawford @itsmebrittdee]

@Favwontmiss Yellow

[Andrew Guenther @codebrewed]

I love how TSA rules are different at every airport and they look at you like you're a fucking idiot when you don't speak their regional dialect of security theater.

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

Three things:

1. “It’s time for an economic reset” is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever heard an American politician say. If you don’t get what those words portend, you don’t understand 20th century history.

2. Among Democrats, Newsom is considered a moderate, not a progressive. His endorsement of a wealth tax makes it an official part of the Democratic Party platform for moderates and progressives alike; the policy is now table stakes for any Democrat seeking office at any level and in any region. We are no longer going to be able to escape this by simply claiming it’s the fringe left advocating for it.

3. Notice that Newsom calls it a “billionaires tax” but references the wealth of the top 10%. If you think a tax such as this would be limited to billionaires, you are delusional (remember that the income tax originally applied to less than 1% of earners). Billionaires have an entire industry of wealth managers, lawyers, and tax advisors helping them shelter assets. When this “billionaires tax” fails to collect even a small percentage of what Democrats promise it will, they will quickly expand it to apply to anyone with even $5M of assets (which is a top 2% net worth). Ordinary people far below the level of the ultra-wealthy—main street small business owners, mom-and-pop real estate investors, farmers, anyone with a decent-size nest egg in their IRA or 401k account—will quickly feel the pain as well.

Pay attention. This is serious, it’s not going away, and it’s going to come for all of us, billionaire or not.