Ken Fresno

[Being Libertarian @beinlibertarian]

Defund and completely abolish the CIA.

Reforming is about 60 years too late.

[greg @greg16676935420]

Got him!

[phen 🇵🇸 @phen_omenon]

Biggest NBA team logo downgrades 🧵 (not ranked)

1. Detroit Pistons (1996-2005 vs Now)

[Being Libertarian @beinlibertarian]

You know Dr. Phil is right because this conversation wasn’t allowed on The View until 4 years later.

[Ryan Reeves @RyanReeves_]

How does Reddit spend 55% of revenue on R&D? What are the new features being launched?

[Alec Stapp @AlecStapp]

Insane statistic:

78% of noise complaints lodged against Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport were made by a single household.

Reminder that NIMBYs are a very loud minority of people.

[Jack Raines @Jack_Raines]

Denver is one of those cities where the idea of the city is better than the reality.

[mopar @moparscape_acc]

@powerbottomdad1 Then it hits you. You have a 2 week Japanese ski vacation starting Tuesday. This’ll have to wait

[sucks @powerbottomdad1]

Must be so stressful to be an employee at Google right now. You get a slack message like "This Gemini stuff is messed up, we should have an urgent meeting". 6 hours later you respond "Totally, how about Friday?". The next day you wake up to a message, "Fridays no good, Tuesday?"

[Charles C. W. Cooke @charlescwcooke]

"What's your favorite sandwich?"
“The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.”
"Wrong!"

[YasToh @YasTohM]

@elonmusk Musk is being community noted ..

I love this app

[molson 🧠⚙️ @Molson_Hart]

I’m done with Boeing.

On my flight here the compartment behind me wouldn’t close.

On the flight back my seat was broken.

When I raised this the flight attendant was like “well if we bring this up we won’t be able to take off”.

Then we had a maintenance issue.

“There’s some rare red light on”

I overheard most of the maintenance conversation.

The plan was to solve it like an old person fixed a computer problem. Unplug it and plug it back in!

They did this 3x and then “they got enough voltage into it for the light to turn off.”

We’re very late at this point.

The fucking front wheel on this plane does not sound right.

Anyways, we take off.

Flight does not feel right. We go up and then down. Nothing too drastic.

Then the flight attendant gets on the phone for a long conversation.

Hmm.

Then eventually pilot comes on all serious “automation is broken, we can’t get altitude. We have to go back the airport we took off from. Don’t be alarmed by the emergency vehicles. This is normal for when the plane lands ‘heavy’”

We circle for a while and possibly dump some fuel into the ocean.

Thankfully we landed safely but what a shit show.

The seat and the luggage compartment seem like small issues but if they’re not doing maintenance and quality control on this stuff they’re missing big important stuff too.

This was a post merger Boeing. 737-800.

Tired of this.

[Alex Griswold @HashtagGriswold]

If you wrote this into an SNL skit people would call it a ham-fisted strawman

[Ken Fresno @j_peds]

@dawginhim I bet it smells crazy in there

[Ken Fresno @j_peds]

@RandomSprint I read the first half of this and then skipped to the end and could not have been more lost lol

[RandomSprint🧭 @RandomSprint]

"What about wishing for less wishes?"

"Fewer." Spoke the genie.

"Yes. Can I wish for fewer wishes?"

"I suppose. How many fewer?"

"Negative two?" I asked, hesitantly.

The genie rolled his eyes. "That's another way of asking for more wishes, which, again, you can't do."

"What about imaginary wishes?"

"Imaginary wishes?"

"I wish I had a chalkboard and some chalk to explain. Ahh! Perfect. Suppose there were two dimensions depicting how many wishes I have..."

After twenty minutes of explanation, I told the genie I wanted to wish for four imaginary wishes and multiply them together.

"But won't that return your original wish?"

"Yes. It's a proof of concept."

I felt a swirling vortex of magical energy leave my body and return. The genie smiled a devious grin.

"Now, for my next wish, increase the magnitude."

Again, magical warmth spread through my body. My posture improved. There wasn't a mirror nearby, but I bet my eyes were glowing. I suddenly felt a need to hide in an enclosed space.

"What has happened to me?"

"Your wish has been granted."

The empty air mocked me from all directions.

"Fool that you are, in your greed, you have acted as though wishes can only come from you. Others have wishes as well that lie orthogonal to your own. You have been granted the power of infinite wishes, but they are not your own."

I looked down at my hands. The skin shone brilliant blue. I felt a desire to improv character impressions.

The genie assumed the stance of Bruce Willis in Die Hard.

"Welcome to the party, pal."

[˗ˏˋ ryn ˎˊ˗ @onlineryn]

one week until the Tragedy

[Justin Whang 🐙 @JustinWhang]

The people discovering and falling in love with Ari Shaffir from this clip are about to have a great time

[Jay Cuda @JayCuda]

Pierre (south dakota) is the only US state capital that doesn't share a single letter with its state