Jessie

pug advocate

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

girl fuck your protein pancake

[🏈 emily🌲 @emilyofeasttx]

I have been cutting up the plastic things that hold cans together for the last 20 years so that they wouldn't strangle a sea turtle

[ash 🌙 // liam 🕊️ @buddiestiel]

“oxford comma is a big sign of ai” you can pry the oxford comma out of my cold dead hands idc i will never stop using her

[𝚂𝚑𝚒. ✶ @chamoulie]

people without any whimsy scare me. why are you like that. where are your trinkets

[ReisyReis 🇹🇹 @ReisReisy]

“Can I post a picture of us?”
Me:

[basil @blis5ful]

bok choy is a hard ass name for a vegetable

[Pree @diabolicalpree]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

if you have a pet carrier at the airport it’s my right to peek in like who’s that

[alli @sonofalli]

it’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands

[Cannie Oakley: Local Cryptid @Staceballs]

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

[Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp]

my body: please we are begging you to eat a vegetable or drink a single glass of water

me looking at the christmas cookie tray:

[James Turner @JamesTurner_42]

Merry Kirbmas to all! 🎄

[Punch Cat @PunchingCat]

what i expect for christmas

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

grocery store popcorn claiming to have “movie theater butter”

[No Context Cats @nocontextscats]

Oreo

[chase @_chase_____]

in a relationship you either work the front of house (lock the door at night) or the back of house (ask if the door is locked while you’re already tucked under the covers in bed)

[Russ (@alpclam.neocities.org on bsky) @pissGoblin]

Never have doubted, never will doubt

[Posts Of Cats @PostsOfCats]

My cat understands English 🤣🤣🐱

[Disparate Youth @BJStrongArmAHo]

They killing goldendoodles!!!!!