Jacob Albrecht

He/Him | Comedy Writer and Actor | Already reading chapter books (Jealous?)
Check out my writing at

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

GO READ THIS ARTICLE I WROTE

[Points in Case @PointsinCase]

The lifeguards have radar guns now and if we clock you at more than three miles per hour, YOU’RE GONE. (by @jacobpalbrecht) https://t.co/8Vs9ifQSPM

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

FBI Denies Existence of War in Ba Sing Se https://t.co/Xp0DTakhMB

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

Read this article I wrote or else you will be visited by one thousand Pikmin in the night

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

30 Unsolicited Drawings of the Afterlife Submitted by Pikmin https://t.co/M7U6SMzclX

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

I HAVE THE HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY @MikeWTrapp SAID SO

[Smartypants @SmartypantsDO]

🐷The series premiere of Smartypants is out now on @dropout!

Join host @rekhalshankar and speakers @MikeWTrapp, @electrolemon, and @vicmmic for an evening of intelligent discussion, boundless curiosity, and finally holding Shrek accountable.

#Smartypants

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

Oh okay so we're giving David an extra stone and writing Goliath a check for $38 billion???

[CNN Breaking News @cnnbrk]

Biden to announce the US military will establish a port in Gaza for humanitarian aid during tonight's State of the Union speech, officials say. https://t.co/74DdLhYvYq

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

We Changed the Text of All Our Articles to Yellow so Gamers Know to Read Them https://t.co/VchXLHEt1I

[Ryley @RyleyIsReal]

What’s a still from a movie or TV show that will completely devastate anyone who has seen it, but seem completely unremarkable to anyone who hasn’t?

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

A beautifully laid out city with accessible trans-continental high-speed rail? Impeccable.

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

This is a 15 minute city

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

Haters will say, "Where are the stroads?"

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@gilmoregrace17 Like should we freeze it? What's the solution here?

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@SuperButterBuns

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@muke10101 From a PR standpoint, videos like this make it much easier to convey lines between "the good guys" and "the bad guys". Srdja Popovic talks more extensively and with more on the effectiveness of nonviolent revolution in his book "Blueprints for Revolution".

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@SkyeKahoalii @bi_scotti_5 @Category_Fury I'm prolonging my inevitable death rn, I'll take free food and an island vacation

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@lefthandedranda The Kentucky kingdom pirate ship must have deemed them unworthy

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@lefthandedranda So happy to see the Kentucky Kingdom representation on my timeline

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@BrilynHollyhand @SarahHuckabee @budlight Not old enough to drink so he had to put this koozie on the big k lemon lime

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@BigobouTheThird @ThornySpider @PunishedBenn This reply is way better than all the "he was cooking meth" arguments

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@jelenawoehr @ManderNick @clairecdowns That would explain the buckets of scabs...

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@FilmUpdates

[Jacob Albrecht @jacobpalbrecht]

@timunken @themalacast @ElliotFladen @nypost Yeah I got a medical condition where if my trachea is closed I can't breathe either