Jake

Very good at almost nothing
•
he/him/his

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

I only post things on Twitter so that I can get likes and validate my worth in life

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

You should be able to leave work early if you have hobbies that you feel like doing

[Read Raising Expectations (and Raising Hell) @JPHilllllll]

Huh. Sounds to me like the workers are in an extremely powerful position and the bosses should give them everything they want.

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

Coming out of Twitter retirement to announce that spiderman is now canonically bisexual, I don't care what the comic books say

[whalefact @awhalefact]

what i wanted to send vs what i ended up sending. sometimes you gotta conserve your energy, folks

[cory @coolmathgame_]

i keep my circle small 💯not by choice though, people do not enjoy being around me

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@marychondria Not the hero we asked for

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@marychondria Where does "is it in?" fall on that chart?

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@meili__ It is a lot

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@marychondria Personally, I wasn't looking at her belly button

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@meili__ Peasant

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@meili__ Damn you were poor as fuck

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@meili__ You'd feel less anxious

[alice hamilton @AliceRHamilton]

when I asked my pro life mom about the 3000 children who die every year from gun violence she rolled her eyes and said “that’s not that many.” we cannot work with republicans. we have to work around them.

[Middle Church @middlechurch]

“You shall not use God’s name in vain” is not about cursing.

It’s for blasphemy like using prayer to hide why you won’t pass laws to stop kids dying.

[Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy]

So if a fetus absorbs a twin in utero are we slapping some tiny cuffs on that mf? What’s the plan?

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

Just vacuumed and washed the dishes within the same day, any extremely wealthy women out there who would like to make me a trophy husband?

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@Whitneyschilt15 Well I'm really sorry to hear that. I appreciate you being on the front lines and taking care of others during such a difficult time. But now there is a vaccine. Even if your coworkers tested positive after getting their vaccine, that doesn't negate how effective and safe it is

[Jake @Jake_HLL]

@Whitneyschilt15 Well that doesn't surprise me. By your logic, I've been vaccinated, I'm not paralyzed