@[email protected]

🪦 mastodon: @[email protected] |

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@ZoeSchiffer are the 1000 RPCs in the room with us right now, @elonmusk?

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

I can't top this.

[wint @dril]

could i get th e opposite of this please

[Christopher J. Beale @realchrisjbeale]

Imagine no more. This is my life now.

[x @x12345678998765]

Alls well that ends well

[U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission @SECGov]

Today we charged Binance Holdings Ltd. (Binance); U.S.-based affiliate, BAM Trading Services Inc., which, together with Binance, operates https://t.co/swcxioZKVP; and their founder, Changpeng Zhao, with a variety of securities law violations.

https://t.co/H1wgGgR5ir

[Jane Manchun Wong @wongmjane]

Twitter’s algorithm specifically labels whether the Tweet author is Elon Musk

“author_is_elon”

besides the Democrat, Republican and “Power User” labels

https://t.co/fhpBjdfifX

[Matt Binder @MattBinder]

i assumed that Elon Musk deleted his Super Bowl tweet because the Eagles lost

turns out it was way more pathetic than that https://t.co/HscEsubYwO https://t.co/9Uf4ojVP08

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@MarioNawfal

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@elonmusk @DavidSacks yeah maybe but you know you still need to pay rent till then right?

[Billy Baldwin @BillyBaldwin]

BREAKING: George Santos just had his name called twice on the floor, and didn't respond. He seemed to MISS the Speaker vote as a result.

SERIOUS QUESTION: Is George Santos even his real name?

[Al Drago @Al_Drago]

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Republican from Georgia, holds her smart phone with former US President Donald Trump on the line, as Rep. Matt Rosendale, a Republican from Montana, waves it off during a meeting of the 118th Congress in the House Chamber on Friday.

#SpeakerVote

[Governor Maura Healey @MassGovernor]

It's me, hi 👋

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@elonmusk @laralogan A+ tweet bro 🔥 you never fail to add such deep insight and wisdom to the public discourse that the 🌎 needs more of right now 💯💯💯💯💯

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@elonmusk who asked

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@Staticasaurus yup, both SMS and MMS have been failing to send all day in New England... @VerizonSupport

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@elonmusk cool what happened

[@[email protected] @jakejarvis]

@elonmusk @cb_doge @BillyM2k you know you own the company now, right?

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

this is what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

So...Elon Musk let Andrew Tate back on Twitter, and Tate promptly used it to reveal his whereabouts to authorities in Romania who then arrested him.

All because Greta Thunberg owned him so hard his little wee-wee fell off.

Do I have that right? Please say I have that right.