Jake Bailey

[chuuch @ch000ch]

[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me]
i am also free that day.

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time for the Nintendo 64 is the only game ever to get a 99 rating on Metacritic It's the highest-rated game of all time

[brent @murrman5]

I don’t know the hand signal for I threw up in my mask but I think the scuba instructor knows anyway

[Graphite Czech 🇨🇿🇩🇪🇺🇸 @CzechArtGirl]

This hypersonic sled test is travelling at 6599 mph (10620 kmh). THE SOUND
.....!!
Increase it by a little more than 10^5 and it’d be going light speed.

[Todd in the Shadows @ShadowTodd]

Some of the greatest directors alive will never capture something like this. The moment he breaks the fourth wall and starts singing along is one of the most beautiful moments ever caught on film.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Lucille Bluth seeing Gene Parmesan

[Adam Sokol @SokolAdam]

Schrödinger's bitch

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Gorilla vs. cold water 😂
https://t.co/70Pl2DEaxI

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Crows have proven themselves to be excellent problem-solvers. Some studies state that their intelligence can be comparable to that of a seven-year-old child

[📹 https://t.co/5We9O19SSs]

[Brent Black @brentalfloss]

the new york sewer rats have finally elected a new rat pope

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me.
I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

[Joey Politano 🏳️‍🌈 @JosephPolitano]

That sounds you hear is the assembling of an army of copyright lawyers, the largest the world has ever seen, who have been in cryosleep since the Napster lawsuits and have just now been reawakened for one last job.

[thomas 🍌 @perfectsweeties]

me: time for some laundry :)

laundry machine: ok :)

me: ok time to dry :)

dryer: i’ve invented a new knot. it transcends humanity’s current understanding of geometry. and i am testing it for the first time on your sheets

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Spider Catches, Whips Shoe Right Back At Woman https://t.co/HmJqTYyAFI