James Bock

Actor, Writer, Musician

[James Bock @james_bock]

@DumptruckDave69 @HaterReport He clipped his foot during the flop, not before. And only because Embolo extended his leg to look for contact. The call was exactly right.

[James Bock @james_bock]

Well if you’re asking, yes, I do think my angry tweets shifted the governor’s policy. 😏

https://t.co/naHrUzOaP6

[James Bock @james_bock]

@NYGovCuomo Gosh, you know what else isn’t about politics? The FEMA unemployment aid you won’t apply for.

[James Bock @james_bock]

NYers need this money; it’s there, and it’s free. We don’t care if it looks like a win for Cuomo or not. Get your ass into gear and govern in your people’s best interest.

[James Bock @james_bock]

Friendly reminder to NYers wrapping up their non-workweeks: @NYGovCuomo is playing politics with additional FEMA relief.

NY CAN afford it, because past & current unemployment benefits can be applied to the state’s 25% responsibility. (Read: up to $300/wk @ NO ADDL COST TO NY)

[James Bock @james_bock]

“I’d rather work with [an old school bookie] than work with FEMA”??

Grow up, dude. You’d rather not be seen on the national stage accepting funds that your party can’t take credit for.

[James Bock @james_bock]

😱😱😱 It’s out! It’s public! The one and only @Bpoelle wrote a book, and it’s full of valuable (and hilarious) info for anyone with their toes in the intersection of Art & Commerce. Pre-order for Xmas?? #funnyyoushouldask

[Barbara Poelle @Bpoelle]

That one time I did the thing...with @hroot writing the foreword. @WritersDigest https://t.co/IK9gxicnPA

[James Bock @james_bock]

I fasted for 40 hours. Then I worked out. Then I bought a Clif Bar, which I unwrapped and promptly dropped in Washington Square Park. I’ve seen what dogs and humans do to these sidewalks, but...I was real hungry.

Everyone keep your distance til I’m cleared by my doctor.

[James Bock @james_bock]

@mckenzieconnell @alexamoss “The Life-Changing Magic of Holding Your Appetite Hostage”

[James Bock @james_bock]

@mckenzieconnell @alexamoss Ideas for your debut title:

“The Life-Changing Magic of Protein Bars”

“The Life-Changing Magic of Microwave Dinners”

“The Life-Changing Magic of Starving Yourself”

[James Bock @james_bock]

An overheard dialogue re: Ty Montgomery -

8 year-old: “But if he kneeled it, wouldn’t Aaron Rodgers get a play before the 2-minute warning?”

Dazed father: “...” [simply nods]

Yes, young child. Yes indeed. And there’s a spot opening up on the Green Bay roster if you want it..

[James Bock @james_bock]

I guess they don’t teach basic reasoning at Stanford. But let’s not forget to blame Zook for forgetting to say, “Hey Ty, not to patronize, but just so we’re clear - you will under NO CIRCUMSTANCES run this ball out of the end zone, right?”

[James Bock @james_bock]

@Phantom__13 Nope. No, sir. Fine, be a hero, but at least don’t do it carelessly. If you’re gonna lower your shoulder and try to plow someone over, protect the ball. Watch closely - the fumble was an even dumber mistake than the decision to run it out.

[James Bock @james_bock]

#ProTip 14: Live with gusto, but also with a healthy suspicion of oddly-placed quotation marks.

Employees must “wash” hands before returning to work?

“Vegan” burger?

Pancake with 100% “pure” maple syrup?

👆🏻Totally 👆🏻fair to 👆🏻ask.

You can’t “trust” “everyone.”

[James Bock @james_bock]

@mckenzieconnell Sounds a bit like life, Kenz. Spreadsheets and all.

[James Bock @james_bock]

#ProTip 13: if you’ve repeated the same word three times in the same sentence, you’ve probably lost track of your argument.

Try again. You deserve a fresh start.

[James Bock @james_bock]

#ProTip 12: Know what flattery scores you? Assistant Manager. Know where kowtowing lands you? The Middle. Know what “yes” men end up with? $55k/livable benefits.

All things considered, sounds pretty ok, right? Always laugh at the boss’ jokes, especially when they’re not funny.

[James Bock @james_bock]

@b_bock99 Stopped reading at “Should I rewatch Stranger Things.” The answer is yes. What’s with the criteria?

[James Bock @james_bock]

FINALLY, amirite?

[James Bock @james_bock]

#ProTip 11: Keep the flame alive!

Be gentle. Clean ‘em with a moist towelette. Treat ‘em like you did when you first brought ‘em home.

The honeymoon may be over, but those new sneakers still want to be treated nicely once in awhile.

You’ve been entrusted with their soles.