Geralt Of Rivia👻

Besides my height.
I have nothing else, whatsoever, to offer!

[Geralt Of Rivia👻 @james_destin]

@GideonKibicho1 For me it's the guy grooming his beard unbothered!

[Old Salty Marine @BamaSaltyMarine]

Do Muslim moms make airplane noises when feeding their kids?

Or do they just crash the fork into their forehead?

[The B. @anerdonfire2]

Look lady, you asked me to pick our date and I've paid good money for this bouncy house. This is happening.

[Voltaire Archive @VoltaireQuote]

when Voltaire said:

[𝚍 @notdokun]

me after getting a tiktok hyped perfume but no one is talking about how good i smell

[Lauren @Lauofserenity]

Dead Poets Society (1989)
"but poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for"

[H O N E Y @HoneyTooRaw]

y’all think being a provider starts & ends with money 😭 baby money can pay bills, it cannot provide emotional safety, leadership, consideration or consistency.

[ꨄ︎ @providentialy]

Lord fix me when I'm the problem and protect me when I'm not.

[Ganja Lilly @PureGanja1]

I just bought waterproof sheets.
Me flirting.

[josh @joshypooper]

“i’m in a situationship” aww cute are you the liar or the loser

[Skurt Vonnegut @ThisLocalHater]

And for the lady, perhaps we bring back quaaludes

[kay @ierowalls]

eu disse pra minha psicóloga que eu não tinha nenhum plano pro futuro e ela respondeu que isso era óbvio porque eu ainda vivia no passado https://t.co/8T7p11UoAM

[marie @marieannechan76]

do you wanna come over and admonish me

[Cali @calidaysay]

Never be sad on a weekend. Cry during business hours and get paid for your depression. Don’t let capitalism win.

[MR CATALONA @catalona_1]

🚨🗣️ 𝗡𝗘𝗪: José Mourinho: "Endrick could play 5 minutes tomorrow, maybe 10."

🗣️ How about 140 million Diomande?

🚨🗣️ José Mourinho: as usual😭

[Cruella_Seville @Cruella_Seville]

Therapist: Revenge is not how you deal with your emotions.

Me: Who said I was dealing with emotions… this is entertainment.

[Geralt Of Rivia👻 @james_destin]

@FabrizioRomano F outta here , why are they using Odegaards face on my boy?

[Adam @adamthealright]

doctor: what brings you here today?

me: my uber hahaha

doctor: (writing in chart) autistic and not sexually active

[300 @300says]

nobody becomes disciplined by accident. it's the most rebellious thing you can do in a world built to distract you.