Had a very busy day. James Bond audition this morning, which went well, despite someone shouting 'hot gun' as I pulled out a Walther PPK pistol I'd bought off Vinted. Then stayed in the dinner jacket to announce UK's jury votes at Eurovision tonight. Back to office job on Monday.
As 2025 draws to a close I look back on personal highlights from the year. This one where I greeted Peter Crouch whilst passing him on a country walk stands out.
Peppa Pig first aired in 2004. Peppa was 4 years old. Today Peppa is 25 with clear developmental issues and Mummy & Daddy Pig probably late 50s and god knows how many years they've been spending on IVF. And we act like nothing weird's going on that she's just got a baby sister..
If someone offers you hookey cheese in the pub, just say no. Getting into artisan cheddar is just the start. Before you know it you're doing a wheel of Pitchfork a night just to feel normal.
BBC News - Fraudsters steal 22 tonnes of high-value cheddar
https://t.co/83E7B1cpKp
*Me to my wife in Poundland*
"It got its name 'cos everything's £1"
Manager: "Well, actually half our range now is over.."
Me: "..that's the beauty of the business model. Total cost clarity"
"We say 'simple price' retailer now"
"See that egg chair that says £150? It's a pound "
Half time at St Mary's and sorry to say Saints gave been second best so far against Forest. But there's always hope with the score 0-0. Here's a photo of Will Smallbone finding life tough back in the Premier League.
Me in the pub: "You know how we're now playing Switzerland next after facing Slovenia and Slovakia? Well, it's the first time England has faced in succession three teams that all start with S since we played Sweden, Senegal and Spain in the 1982 World Cup.
"What? Yes I'm sure."
The investigation should be on the BBC for its use of language in this headline. That someone is struck by a vehicle is tragic enough, without a headline making unsubstantiated allegations about the victim as a contemptible woman lacking in chastity.
@SoVeryBritish *At the trial several months later* Prosection lawyer: "So the accused - when asked by you what he was doing with his oversized suitcase - explicitly told you he was disposing of bodies. And your reaction was...to laugh and carry on with your day?"
"Yes, exactly."
"But daddy, isn't he the man who made this the law?"
"Yes, dear"
"Oh well. I'm sure this is the only time he ever made a law then forgot it applies to him"
*Stares blankly into space as clips play of wild Downing St parties interspersed with Boris saying "You must stay at home"*
"Would you like to go large?" the lady in McDonald's asked me.
I hesitated.
"For £1.29?" she persevered.
I looked around uneasily. Some other customers watched me carefully.
She didn't work here and it was clear the enquiry had nothing to do with my McChicken sandwich.
Saw this Jude's ice cream stand menu and wondered if any other Spice Girls' stage names beyond Geri Halliwell's could work as a food flavour #maybescaryspiceasahalloweenlatte
I've been made aware of a video on social media purporting to be of me dancing in swim trunks to the Destiny's Child song 'Bootylicious'. This is not me and I emphatically distance myself from the provocative act undertaken at the line 'I don't think you're ready for this jelly'.
Their cause would have been furthered had they used a better soup than pumpkin. Chicken Mulligatawny would have properly shaken middle class sensibilities and generated considerably more column inches.
BBC - Mona Lisa: Protesters throw soup at painting
https://t.co/KdwcPU4ilS
I don't often agree with Kemi Bedeonch, but since the pandemic, with people working from home more, it is increasingly important to make sure you have a chair ergonomically designed to support you appropriately.