James Powell

Marketer, father. Dislikes 'having it large'. All views the result of my cultural/neurological heritage.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

Had a very busy day. James Bond audition this morning, which went well, despite someone shouting 'hot gun' as I pulled out a Walther PPK pistol I'd bought off Vinted. Then stayed in the dinner jacket to announce UK's jury votes at Eurovision tonight. Back to office job on Monday.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

As 2025 draws to a close I look back on personal highlights from the year. This one where I greeted Peter Crouch whilst passing him on a country walk stands out.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

I feel like Ancestry need to work on their email titles. This has shades of how the school bully would preface a 'yer mum's so...' tirade.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

Peppa Pig first aired in 2004. Peppa was 4 years old. Today Peppa is 25 with clear developmental issues and Mummy & Daddy Pig probably late 50s and god knows how many years they've been spending on IVF. And we act like nothing weird's going on that she's just got a baby sister..

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

Great. But what's the call to action here?

Eurostar: Baked bean man rides first cross-channel train - BBC News
https://t.co/OogW0bbx5T

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

If someone offers you hookey cheese in the pub, just say no. Getting into artisan cheddar is just the start. Before you know it you're doing a wheel of Pitchfork a night just to feel normal.

BBC News - Fraudsters steal 22 tonnes of high-value cheddar
https://t.co/83E7B1cpKp

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

*Me to my wife in Poundland*
"It got its name 'cos everything's £1"
Manager: "Well, actually half our range now is over.."
Me: "..that's the beauty of the business model. Total cost clarity"
"We say 'simple price' retailer now"
"See that egg chair that says £150? It's a pound "

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

Half time at St Mary's and sorry to say Saints gave been second best so far against Forest. But there's always hope with the score 0-0. Here's a photo of Will Smallbone finding life tough back in the Premier League.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

We've just lost the Euros final and this is how the Sunday Times Business section tries to cheer me up.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

Me in the pub: "You know how we're now playing Switzerland next after facing Slovenia and Slovakia? Well, it's the first time England has faced in succession three teams that all start with S since we played Sweden, Senegal and Spain in the 1982 World Cup.

"What? Yes I'm sure."

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

The investigation should be on the BBC for its use of language in this headline. That someone is struck by a vehicle is tragic enough, without a headline making unsubstantiated allegations about the victim as a contemptible woman lacking in chastity.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

@SoVeryBritish *At the trial several months later* Prosection lawyer: "So the accused - when asked by you what he was doing with his oversized suitcase - explicitly told you he was disposing of bodies. And your reaction was...to laugh and carry on with your day?"

"Yes, exactly."

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

When Amazon starts sending suggestions like this out of the blue one starts to wonder what they know is coming.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

"But daddy, isn't he the man who made this the law?"
"Yes, dear"
"Oh well. I'm sure this is the only time he ever made a law then forgot it applies to him"
*Stares blankly into space as clips play of wild Downing St parties interspersed with Boris saying "You must stay at home"*

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

"Would you like to go large?" the lady in McDonald's asked me.
I hesitated.
"For £1.29?" she persevered.
I looked around uneasily. Some other customers watched me carefully.
She didn't work here and it was clear the enquiry had nothing to do with my McChicken sandwich.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

More lazy reporting from the BBC. I'm 5'2 and can rustle up a decent carbonara.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

Saw this Jude's ice cream stand menu and wondered if any other Spice Girls' stage names beyond Geri Halliwell's could work as a food flavour #maybescaryspiceasahalloweenlatte

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

I've been made aware of a video on social media purporting to be of me dancing in swim trunks to the Destiny's Child song 'Bootylicious'. This is not me and I emphatically distance myself from the provocative act undertaken at the line 'I don't think you're ready for this jelly'.

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

Their cause would have been furthered had they used a better soup than pumpkin. Chicken Mulligatawny would have properly shaken middle class sensibilities and generated considerably more column inches.

BBC - Mona Lisa: Protesters throw soup at painting
https://t.co/KdwcPU4ilS

[James Powell @jamesalexpowell]

I don't often agree with Kemi Bedeonch, but since the pandemic, with people working from home more, it is increasingly important to make sure you have a chair ergonomically designed to support you appropriately.