A timeline of one man's cunning inheritance tax scheme.
2008: Buy a thousand acres in Oxfordshire. Tell The Times that dodging inheritance tax is the critical thing. Scheme live.
2009 to 2018: Do absolutely nothing. A villager farms it on contract. Flawless.
2019: The villager retires. Rather than hire another one, decide to farm a thousand acres yourself, having never grown anything.
Also 2019: Invite a film crew.
2020: Rain for nine weeks. Profit on a thousand acres: £144.
2021: Broadcast the £144 to the largest streaming platform on earth, thereby informing the entire planet that farmland makes nothing.
2021: Open a farm shop. Acquire a queue down a lane and the undivided attention of West Oxfordshire District Council.
2022: Restaurant refused. Enforcement notice. Six weeks to take a barn apart.
2023: Lose the appeal. Lose it again.
May 2024: Accidentally get English planning law rewritten. Lawyers name it Clarkson's Clause.
August 2024: Open a pub selling only British food. Sell your own sausage at 74p against 18p imported, and eat the difference on every plate.
October 2024: The Chancellor caps agricultural property relief at a million. Scheme dead.
November 2024: Stand on a platform in Westminster in front of thirteen thousand farmers, drawing maximum national attention to the exact tax break you were supposedly hiding behind.
July 2025: Go down with TB. First calf ever born on the farm destroyed, pregnant with twins. Gate padlocked.
23 December 2025: Government retreats. The threshold goes from one million to two and a half. Five million for a couple.
March 2026: Farm declared clear.
July 2026: Drive four hundred miles to Scotland and buy more cows.
Eighteen years.
Planning law changed. Agricultural degree applications climbing. Cited in the Commons more times than most ministers manage. Half the estates that were going to be caught by the tax are no longer caught by it.
He was accused of buying a farm to dodge inheritance tax, and then spent eighteen months getting the relief raised for everybody else's.
Worst tax dodger in British history.
Best thing to happen to British farming in fifty years.
The Hardest Geezer. The most incredible achievement. 💪
Russ Cook has finally finished his epic challenge, running the length of Africa - the equivalent of 385 marathons - in 352 days.
Simply sensational. 🏃♂️
Poor from Fernandes earlier, who was actually caught nearer the chest. He really is a detestable little individual, no matter how good at football he happens to be. His parents must be disappointed
• NHS Hospital Canteen: ‘Single Tuna sarnie’ costing £3.00 for nurses, paid for out of their own wage
• Houses of Parliament: ‘Rum banana tarte tatin with rum and raisin ice cream’ for the princely sum of £2.37 for MPs, paid for by you the taxpayer
Nurses’ fight is our fight.
THEY CHANGED THEIR KIT TO YELLOW FOR GOOD LUCK AND THEN LOST THEIR THIRD FA CUP FINAL ON THREE YEARS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Putin’s main achievement in the last 48 hours is making President Zelensky a global hero. His quote to Americans offering to evacuate him “I need ammunition, not a ride”.
So in summary Boris Johnson has gone from:
1) Denying there were parties
2) Saying that even if parties happened, no-one broke any rules
3) Saying he personally didn’t break rules
4) Admitting he attended a party
5) Denying knowledge the party he attended was a party. #PMQs