Jared Shipley

Actor. Social Media Giant. @PointBthemovie available on DVD and streaming!

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

Help me get to 100 Million Instagram followers, so I can get 12 Twitter followers. https://t.co/kc1WKuiMiY

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

But did you know it’s been “17 years since September 11th!”?

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

We will always remember everyone we lost on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep us safe, and honor all who defend our country and the ideals that bind us together. There's nothing our resilience and resolve can’t overcome, and no act of terror can ever change who we are.

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

Never Forget...that our current president is and always has been a complete asshole.

[jordan @JordanUhl]

Flashback: Thousands of people died on 9/11 but Trump’s initial reaction was happiness his building was the tallest again

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Our statement on the passing of Senator John McCain:

[jordan @JordanUhl]

After mass shootings, the victims' families beg for sensible gun reform but Republicans say the tragedy shouldn't be politicized.

After one immigrant commits a crime, Republicans politicize the victim's death despite the victim's family begging them not to.

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

@KaivanShroff Seinfeld. Yadda yadda

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

#RudyGuiliani is this truth or is it truth?

[Jeffrey Toobin @JeffreyToobin]

Cohen committed crimes "In co-ordination with, and at the direction of" @realDonaldTrump . Thus, President appears to be co-conspirator and/or aider and abettor of a federal crime.

[William H. Harrison @Old_Tippecanoe]

Any o’ you haters and losers have YOUR portrait up at the f*ckin’ WHITE! HOUSE?! 🖕

[William H. Harrison @Old_Tippecanoe]

That’s right, BITCHES! FIRST👏PRESIDENT👏TO👏DIE👏IN👏OFFICE! ☝️John Tyler cried like a lil’ bitch when he found out.

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

The Catholic Church believes life begins at conception, so by the time they molest you, you’re considered an adult.

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Space Force: I keep thinking of one of those old Saturday morning shows with puppets n shit. Retweet ONLY if you think this is possibly the dumbest idea out of Trump's admittedly dumb head so far.

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

@seanhannity @Acosta Fair and balanced.

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

Motherfucking snakes on motherfucking plane.

[The Academy @TheAcademy]

Share the plot of your favorite movie in five words.

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

Every 👏episode 👏of👏Black👏Mirror👏is👏devastating.👏

[Nick Jack Pappas @pappiness]

Jared Kushner, who has security clearance, has bought and sold as much as $147 million of real estate and other assets since joining the White House.

But, please, Sarah Sanders, tell us again how all these other guys with security clearance are monetizing their public service.

[William H. Harrison @Old_Tippecanoe]

I have returned from the deep realms of the afterlife, between time, space, and matter. I know where the #LochNessMonster is. I know how #InfinityWar ends. I've seen the #PeePeeTape.

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

Today, I got to meet my brand new NIECE! Don’t you dare think she’s not the cutest niece ever. She is. And I love her more than you. Sorry. Congratulations to dipship312 and… https://t.co/gVo7Y12w39

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

Do not congratulate. https://t.co/FAANrvdKA0

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Congratulations to France, who played extraordinary soccer, on winning the 2018 World Cup. Additionally, congratulations to President Putin and Russia for putting on a truly great World Cup Tournament -- one of the best ever!

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

Big TV interview today. Better get a tan.*
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*rub dirt all over my face https://t.co/cIM8lAjTfD

[Jared Shipley @jaredcshipley]

@gregormesthing ima call you LATE TO THE PARTAYYY