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Jason Voss
@jasonvoss312
Completely unprofessional. At everything.
Here.
Joined September 2009
862
Following
126
Followers
765
Posts
Jason Voss
@jasonvoss312
almost 8 years ago
@Cernovich
@neiltyson
He was probably just talking about Uranus.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP
about 10 years ago
The only thing worse than someone who speeds to the front of a line of traffic and then cuts over is the person who lets him cut in.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
palmer
@decentbirthday
over 10 years ago
Interviewer: So it says here you speak "sign language"? Please elaborate. Me: Stop Interviewer: Oh, well- Me: Speed Limit 55
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO
about 10 years ago
I always volunteer for the chores with unverifiable results. For example, would anyone really know if I took out the trash?
Who to follow
N'DangR Species
@NDangRSpecies
Don't get tucked in. NDANGR
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP
about 10 years ago
Top three meanings of "I was just joking" 3. I was just joking. 2. That sounded worse than I thought it would. 1. She looks angry, abort!
jasonvoss312
retweeted
mark
@TheCatWhisprer
over 10 years ago
I don't even want to drive 26.2 miles.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 10 years ago
[spelling bee] Your word is 'passive-aggressive' "Could you use it in a sentence?" I could but don't worry about it, it's fine
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Mellimelle
@mellimelle
over 10 years ago
Media manipulation?? If that were really happening, I would've heard about it on the news.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
The Cultured Ruffian
@CulturedRuffian
over 10 years ago
Pretty sure the 'vitamins & minerals' printed on the side of this Cap'n Crunch are a benefit only if you consume the cardboard box itself.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Rock
@TheMichaelRock
over 10 years ago
I wish someone would make a law where I don't have to share a restroom with anyone.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Bandersnaaatch
@Bandersnaaatch
over 10 years ago
I'm sorry I yelled SLAM DUNK when I inserted your catheter on the first try.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
bananafanafofisa
@lisaxy424
over 10 years ago
I set my alarm in a way to try to trick morning-me into getting up earlier, but morning-me is a math wizard and cannot be fooled.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP
over 10 years ago
Single men like women like they like their music, on shuffle. Married men also like women like they like their music, on pause.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP
over 10 years ago
What’s it called when you don’t have the healthiest lifestyle but your blood work always looks good? Plausible deniability
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Alex Whitman
@alexwhitman
over 10 years ago
......or not!
jasonvoss312
retweeted
SwiftOnSecurity
@SwiftOnSecurity
over 10 years ago
Nobody's as happy as they are on Facebook, pretty as they are on Instagram, or as thought leadering as they are on LinkedIn. 🤔
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Mr. Onederful®
@ericonederful
over 10 years ago
My job pays me too get off my phone and look busy everytime I hear someone coming.
jasonvoss312
retweeted
Skinnie Talls
@SkinnieTalls
over 10 years ago
The incriminating evidence on my phone is accumulating at an alarming rate.
Jason Voss
@jasonvoss312
over 10 years ago
@vasqlartek
Ain't happenin'. *crosses fingers that it won't happen*
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