John Clarke ⚡️

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life ~ George Best

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@CallumLyon Humidity.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@truemagic68 Just cash held in stocks and shares ISA is my understanding. My S&S ISA does not pay interest on cash - which would be dividends not yet processed or cash from a sale waiting reallocation.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@JakeWSimons Isn't this what six year olds do?
The virtue signalling is strong in this one.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@AshfordLabour Taking credit for the poor weather conditions now?

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@BasilTheGreat That's where all the toxic people went to.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@AllisonCGardner The gaslighting is strong with this one.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@iamtomskinner If anyone has been holding SMT they have been holding Space X for a number of years. SMT bought at £150m a holding that is now worth circa £3bn (conservatively valued). Nice bit of business.

[Southampton FC @SouthamptonFC]

🥶🇨🇦

[Chris Medland @ChrisMedlandF1]

The stewards have rescinded the two five-second penalties handed out to Gasly, and he regains a podium finish in third place in Monaco!

I wonder if we’ve heard the last of that one though, with others penalised too but not asking for a review #F1

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@AdamPollock @jamesnigraham Lots, I would have done it for £50 though.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@EdwardJDavey You just have no clue as to how things work - do you?

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@ThatAlexWoman Training missions.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@UTDIMole Kenny Dalgleish

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

How’s your day going?

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@TheGreenParty I'd prefer to see the Monster Raving Loony Party be elected than the Greens. Can you not go back to hugging trees?

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

So where did you go to church today?

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

It's the thing Putin's most proud of too

To get the Trump administration to act against America's best interests took a lot of 'persuasion'

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

If we accept that the Trump administration is on
Russia's side, everything then makes sense

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@NickCohen4 Even a broken watch is right twice a day.

[John Clarke ⚡️ @jc1959]

@RepJackKimble This must be a parody account 😂