I make stuff. Mostly sausages and salamis. And I take pictures of dogs at farmers markets. Sharer of food, music. Retweets aren't endorsements, unless they are.
@CavemanSenator@regginyknits C'mon, I always feel like an ass when pointing out the obvious to adults- especially on the internet: you open jars with your scrote and bottles with your taint. As for cans or tins, how are you fixed for genital piercings? It's a major complication if your dangle isn't spangled.
"Aw, who am I kidding. I wasn't punk before this anyhow," I whisper to myself as I trim my basil plants with cuticle scissors purchased expressly for this purpose.
@fckoffmaebe Whoa, hey, not cool. You're also funny, have a cute dog, and watch hockey. That's it, that's everything I know about you- but it's more than enough for a follow.
it’s crazy that i was so used to popes being like 372-year-old tiny italian men who just wear the little hat and bless things. now the pope likes baseball and gives out advice like uncle jessie it’s so sick
@doveestorm Has someone come up with a sufficient portmanteau of "adorable" and "badass" yet? I've got nothing but "badassdorable" which might as well be nothing.
@mformorphine I do know that at any age, the correct response to someone seeking an opinion as to their swimwear is to turn into the politest possible version of a cartoon wolf- unless constructive criticism is expressly requested (informally now, and by affidavit later, time permitting.)
@mformorphine Sometime in the past five years I've transitioned from what I've been since my childhood (namely, a crazy old coot) to a somehow more sedate albeit wacky uncle. Hasn't been a seamless transition.