jensen

🦂🍣🍸🍉💌

[jensen @jensenxx]

Watching shrek days before turning 32 and “the years start coming and they don’t stop coming” feels a little targeted

[allison! @lazyhoes]

this is what it feels like when you’ve had one too many drinks and you’re trying to find the bathroom at a restaurant you’ve never been to

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

Maybe your baby is crying because he wants a Crunchwrap Supreme.

[Hestia, Esq @Hestia_Esq]

Sorry for the things I said when there was clutter everywhere

[anvita @vitamaybe]

my reason for doing things:
1. spite
2. the aesthetic
3. a deadline i invented

[jensen @jensenxx]

For someone who allegedly has her shit together I’m way too often stuck using the roku app because god knows where my remote is

[jensen @jensenxx]

@RoyMotives A time was had in 2012

[jensen @jensenxx]

I have clothes and shoes being delivered today, I have a fresh set of lashes AND a nail appointment I can’t even think straight

[lobunny @whinybunnny]

it probably feels so good to hit someone in the head with a stanley

[່͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ @oorangeugladd]

if we are eating cinnamon rolls together and you see my boner just mind your business

[jensen @jensenxx]

Wtf even is paleo

[jensen @jensenxx]

I think I need to give a filet o fish another chance

[jensen @jensenxx]

@RoyMotives Belt to ass, you’re safe

[jensen @jensenxx]

I wonder if kickers in the nfl ever get stage fright

[jensen @jensenxx]

I’ve never met a bald person who doesn’t love snakes. I’m not sure what the correlation is but I know there is one

[jensen @jensenxx]

I had a dream I had 3 hickeys and was walking around wondering why people kept looking at me weird 🫤

[L 🇨🇦 @Ann_Hedonia1]

Sorry can’t make it, my cat wants me at home tonight

[jensen @jensenxx]

Is this a safe space to admit that truffle oil doesn’t do it for me

[◉_◉ @_vPNuser]

we are truly blessed with the amount of ways to eat a potato

[jensen @jensenxx]

@RoyMotives I didn’t specify who it would be fun for 😂 you say terrible idea but you’d tune in

[jensen @jensenxx]

I feel like they should let a college team play against an nfl team just for fun 🙂