david

Ceci n'est pas une bio

[david @jerkstoredavid]

finally post-economic.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

Ball up top

[david @jerkstoredavid]

When God sings with all his creations, will Lt. Dan not be part of the choir?

[MikMilks 🙃 @MikMilks_]

Lieutenant Dan’s 14 mugshots go crazy. Bro is a menace.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@Jiji_Byte Barcola's Kenzo is the clear winner here.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@DevinKunysz @snackolator oh damn. Love the entire category.

[annika💒 @simulacrababy]

him: you better not be chinese gone girl when i get home
me:

[cold 🥑 @coldhealing]

men hit the wall at 33. not biologically, but unmarried men over the age of 33 are just too mentally weird for anyone to ever date

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@NickLovesSpain Salamanca in Madrid

[david @jerkstoredavid]

Everyday we stray further from God's light.

[Mittens @JUSTcatmeme]

They can’t keep getting away with this

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@DiplomatForeign @hen_ease @Tiffany_Gomas Is that @martymush at it again?

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@joke_blog Can I say something without everyone getting mad?

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@TMathSports we need to see you do it in jeans.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

Christ this is grim.

[Aly Dee @realfemsapien]

Being a woman really is life on easy mode.

If you make a good arrangement with a man at your most beautiful and least jaded, you pretty much get to coast through life for the low cost of chores, putting out, babies, and being a very important assistant.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

I'm yelling: It’s really a shame he’s a dangerous abhorrent lunatic bc he says some of the funniest shit

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

6 years ago

Trump: This is a tough hurricane. One of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@_akamorgan just teasin, you know i adore u.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@_akamorgan Keep it locked on this app for bi-weekly reminders that, yes, Morgan does in fact live in Paris.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

I’m yelling at my phone. It’s perfect.

[kie @criminalplaza]

this is genuinely one of the funniest things ive ever seen

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@Duderichy Legit 30k in gear here

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@bobdylan I got norovirus from Dooky Chase’s.

[david @jerkstoredavid]

@ramit lol this is so dumb.