J E S S B E N N E T T

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[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Bad Baltic Takes @BadBalticTakes]

The ultimate form of russian victimhood is to blame foreigners for whichever variation of russian imperialism is suddenly out of favour.

It’s a regularly recycled trope among russians - particularly aimed at the Baltic countries.

We are, apparently, responsible for tsarism, the soviet union, and Putin - according to each movement to replace them. There’s a non-zero chance that Navalny will rule next and then we’ll be blamed for enabling him too by his opposition.

Let’s rewind.

The Bolsheviks blamed us for aligning with the White Army while russians were fighting their civil war - but our interests aligned only in the context of our own independence war.

Soviet dissidents and anti-communists today in russia (many of whom support Putin) absurdly see russia as the victim of some kind of reverse colonialism during soviet times - in favour of occupied nations like ours. They’ll point to Bolsheviks recruited here to argue as if our countries created the whole soviet union.

Today, many supporters of Navalny point to russia’s corrupting of western societies to argue that it’s actually the West enabling Putin while russians are just the victims. I sometimes see them use actual Kremlin propaganda to back up that argument.

Russia will weaponise any international connections with itself, however remote, to portray its adversaries abroad as responsible for russia.

It reminds me of a Simpsons episode where Sideshow Bob gets released from jail and runs for Mayor by attacking the incumbent mayor for releasing dangerous criminals …like Sideshow Bob.

The rest of the world got a taste of this kind of thing more recently after Prigozhin’s aborted coup. During the coup attempt, russian society and elites were very quiet hedging their bets over who to support between Prigozhin and Putin based on who’d triumph. As soon as the coup was aborted, russia supporters suddenly woke up and began criticising the rest of the world for cheering on an extremist like Prigozhin who… er, they had spent years idolising.

All this is cynical buck-passing, but also something more deeply rooted in the russian imperial mentality.

They believe everyone else must have a side in russian politics because they are unable to see other peoples and countries with their own agency and interests entirely separate from them. And russia must always be the victim …even, somehow, of itself - if you attribute that to others.

They can’t understand that we actually want nothing to do with russia. We dream of the day when none of us outside of russia have to know so much about what’s happening inside russia.

I once saw a tweet from a russian account saying: ‘That Bad Baltic Takes account is supposed to be dedicated to opposing Putin but it’s actually anti-Navalny’. No, this account is not about you. You just happen to feature way too much due to ongoing circumstances.

Too often, the international media analyses the Baltic countries purely through the russian lens of whether what we are doing is good for the russian opposition.

But I hope this helps people in the west understand why russia’s neighbours aren’t so enthusiastic about any russian that just calls themselves a dissident despite still clearly displaying an imperial mentality.

We are not part of russia. We don’t want anything to do with russia. We do not have a side within russian politics. We do not have to choose between different brands of russian imperialism. We have our own independent countries and our interest is our own freedom and security. We can craft policies based on what’s best for our countries and how we can secure ourselves against all russian imperialism.

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Demand a Federal Impact Assessment for the Ontario Place MegaSpa! #topoli #onpoli #cdnpoli https://t.co/mTTqiKYsE1

[Simon Kuestenmacher @simongerman600]

The map shows what ChatGPT considers the most notable thing about each European country. Mostly it got the stereotypes right I feel. As a foodie rather than a dancer I would've said paella for Spain (maybe Real Madrid or FC Barcelona). Source: https://t.co/vJQEwBMozV

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Why not just hire diverse models? - "Levi’s to Use AI-Generated Models to ‘Increase Diversity’"https://t.co/4bVUEr24GK

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Periodic extolling virtues of my @ouraring - such a positive influence on my overall health and, especially, my sleep. Was never a great sleeper, but I've come a long way thanks to Oura. Referral link: https://t.co/EXiKBfiUFP

[Anders Åslund @anders_aslund]

3. Putin clearly understands that his war in Ukraine has been a disastrous failure (as everybody in the elite). He sticks to his standard tactic: Always escalate! But the UK Defense Ministry now say that 97% of the Russian army is already in Ukraine. Putin is out of resources.

[Anders Åslund @anders_aslund]

Putin's war in Ukraine should end in 2023. Presumably there will be a combination of two causes:
1. Ukraine makes a major breakthrough on the battlefield (Melitopol?).
2. The Russian silovik elite gets fed up with Putin's incompetence.

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

LIVING for this wonderful chaos
🙌🏼✨😂 #wimhofmethod #spain #mastermodule #wimhofmethod❄️ #wimhofacademy #coldexposure @ Morillo De Tou, Aragon, Spain https://t.co/zu0CUw1B5e

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

I wrote about cold exposure on LinkedIn after my recent experience in Spain! https://t.co/dtyVmF2tgF

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Longtime Bonnie Raitt fan over here. Simmer down now.

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

@TD_Canada I've had my purse stolen with my phone and credit card, but the calls to you keep dropping from Spain and I'm borrowing someone else's phone. I JUST WANT TO FREEZE MY CARD FOR SECURITY. Can you please help me?

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Wow - insurance never fails to amaze me with pure incompetance. Blue Cross literally refusing to do anything for me after my purse has been stolen with my phone and all my cards.

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

“Everyone in the West should be sending anything the Ukrainians can learn to use,” @RadioFreeTom writes. “Americans and their allies must face how far a Russian victory would extend beyond Ukraine.” https://t.co/XxOjEqvyaD

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Large number of roles hiring for those with US health/pharma experience. Please reach out to me if this is you and you are interested! https://t.co/10tTzv25ZS

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Missed this with the break: Canada is the first G7 country to plan to redistribute Russian assets to Ukraine 👏🏼 https://t.co/wszTO69p98

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

If you are going to buy an @ouraring, please use my code for $50 off your purchase. I love my Oura ring so much and I’ll tell anyone who is considering it to take the leap: https://t.co/6T9RV3e5Jw

[News from Ukraine @uasupport999]

A festive reminder that Crimea is Ukraine: in the temporarily occupied Kerch, the Christmas tree was decorated with toys in blue and yellow colors, as well as street illumination 😂

Occupation authorities are apparently looking for someone to punish for this idea 😜

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Vice Media to Miss 2022 Revenue Target by $100 Million (Report) https://t.co/iB3UWahn5m via @Yahoo

[J E S S B E N N E T T @jessbennett]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary