Jessica Pressman

[HelloSidney.com @hello_sidney]

🔪 GIVEAWAY 😱

To celebrate the #ScreamWeek with the release of #Scream on January 14, https://t.co/CCqXZx8FaI will give some killer prizes to someone who follows the rules on the image!

🎆 3 winners will be announced on January 16, at 12 pm PT.

🩸 #screammovie @screammovies

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

@Alizae_Ivette Just wanted to get in on this love fest 💙

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

@gracefrahm damn you got nice jewish guys, jealous.

[Minnie Driver TICKLESS WONDER @driverminnie]

#GunControlNow #EnoughIsEnough

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

@gracefrahm Honestly who do they think they are

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

@gracefrahm @BenSPLATT @BathtubsOverBwy @gracefrahm i was literally looking through comments to see if anyone posted this yet and of course you had!!

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

@savittj Me too truly

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

Patiently waiting for @truTVjokers to join @bookcameo @Joe_Gatto @jamessmurray @BQQuinn @SalVulcano

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

This presidency is like the Juan Pablo season of #TheBachelor . Like once it’s over, we’re all gonna try and forget it happened and pretend we never supported it in the first place.

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

This is a reminder to myself to not sing in concert videos so when I rewatch it I can actually hear the artist instead of me singing half the lyrics and mumbling through the rest

[Jon Savitt @savittj]

[on chopped]
judges: what will you do with the money if you win?
me: start an airline that's just for dogs next question

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

Just saw a priest throw away a dominos box... priests, they’re just like us!

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

@jk_rowling quick question. My coworker and i are wondering: do boring jobs exist in the HP universe? Like, who goes to Hogwarts to become a Nimbus salesman? A marketing analyst for Bertie Bott’s? Does industry exist? #economics #confused

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

They have moved from singing to watching videos I did not know existed which rank and analyze disney princesses. This led to a heated debate on the plotline and substance of frozen.

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

On to Hercules, aka tapping into the masculine side of a Disney sing along between college roommates.

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

I live in a suite with six guys, I will now be live tweeting their Disney sing along. It began with Mulan, transitioned into Tangled, Beauty and the Beast, and then the classic A Whole New World from Aladdin. Stay tuned.

[Arby’s Provocateur @SamGrittner]

I go on CHOPPED. I open my basket the ingredients are self-loathing and $20,000 in debt.
ME: "I can work with this."

[Dave King @DaveKingThing]

i mean i fucking love pizza but if pizza violently killed 30,000 people a year i'd be like okay maybe none of us should have pizza

[Brian Stelter @brianstelter]

Over at @TheOnion, they just publish this story over and over https://t.co/8zi4zRzvQU

[Jessica Pressman @jesspressman]

@goodreads @WritopiaLab The Nix by Nathan Hill and I would recommend it to anyone!