AZBaseballMom

Buy me some peanuts & cracker jacks ✌️❤️⚾️ out these search results:

[AZBaseballMom @joci2203]

Because the universe said so, that's why.

[Donna McCoy @Donna_McCoy]

If you didn't make anyone smile today, I kinda feel bad for you.

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

*spins in chair* Ah, Mr. Bond. I’ve been expect- *cat sitting in my lap freaks out and scratches the shit out of me*

[Josh @iwearaonesie]

“You can stare as long as you want, I’m not sharing”

- me about to give my dog half of my sandwich

[Kellalena @topaz_kell]

What doesn’t kill you has a lock of your hair.

[Casey Duncan @caseytduncan]

I'll take your secret to the grave, where I'll then air it live on national TV.

[𝓶♡ @Love_bug1016]

*seductively straddles Santa's lap

*voluntarily goes on the naughty list

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

I never know where to clip my phone during sex.

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

According to my kids' Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

[Casey Duncan @caseytduncan]

I promise you that I'll handle this discreetly.

* Walks away in light up shoes *

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Please keep my 6 year old in your prayers, his sister is copying him.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

The only time I get anxiety is when I’m picking up a prescription for my wife and the pharmacists asks me for her birth date.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

If you don’t have at least one 80’s playlist we probably can’t be friends.

[❤️‍🔥Sardonic Tart❤️‍🔥 @SardonicTart]

Help Envy's Son Fight Cancer https://t.co/1HdJbTHUD2

[Mark @NoticablyBacon]

Me: I want to be attractive
Genie: can't be done
Me I want Tupperware with lids that actually fit
Genie: *sigh* Lets try that first thing I guess