John

read about the actor life, never really lived more than an hour

[John @johnaquarium]

Are you guys wrestling outside the women’s bathroom?

Ya

[John @johnaquarium]

why do you have a mop bro? it’s your day off

[bro @scrungeonmaster]

you can feed white people coleslaw out of your hand like they’re a wild horse

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

A natural trick in the 1st period is so belligerent, I’d ask for the rest of the game off and order dominos to the locker room and eat it in the hot tub. I did my work for the night I earned my check. Ill make the reservations for dinner see u guys after

[John @johnaquarium]

I’m like a bird shit

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

The diddy bowl

[Happy Punch @HappyPunch]

Mike Tyson definitely forgot he was talking to a kid while answering that question 😭

[pj @pjayevans]

Hey dude I was hoping you could watch me from 3-8 tonight my gf is going to hang out with her friends and I get afraid

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

i actually LOVE that it gets dark at 7pm now. now i can start Reckoning With My Own Insignificance earlier. really frees up the rest of the evening for Mourning What Could Have Been

[Mark Jackson’s Burner @casualtakeking]

Scoot Henderson clearly showed up to media day out of his mind with all due respect

https://t.co/NS8sRDNXv4

[adas🧦🌹 @adastroworld]

Crushed it at an intimate house hang with one close friend + a bunch of loose connections today. Met new people. Listened to what they said. Contributed relevant jokes and setups to make them seem funnier and cooler. Great work all around on my part

[Moose @703Moose]

That’s amazing can I get a bud light please

[jörg shidmann @tranz_schubert]

as per my last suicide note,

[dingo @bigolboot]

i am fairly progressive but i don't believe love can exist between a woman from southern ontario and a man from bc

[spencer🦕 @spen______]

Just give Vladdy $300mil. He deserves to be able to buy a three bedroom house in Toronto

[Trailer Park Boys @trailerparkboys]

Newest member of the Canadian hammer throw team 🥇🥇

[Rob Gucci @heatdaddy69420]

I’ve been on the sneakiest bender since April. came out of nowhere

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

Kinda wild how the song of the summer is Len’s “Steal My Sunshine” for a 26th consecutive year.