John Wayne Horton

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@DietCoke_Esq Attorneys have feelings too … allegedly.

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@EdGrapeNutZimm @abekwon @LowensteinLLP Love the warm welcome and super excited to join @EdGrapeNutZimm and the rest of the @LowensteinLLP team. Hoping I one day become more of a Twitter power user and that Ed accepts that it’s no longer called Twitter. 😉

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Strongly-worded note in support of Madison, my flight attendant in first class tonight (Flight B6 633 BOS to SFO). Such pride & attentiveness throughout my trip. I was surprised with first class tickets by my law firm, following a recent promotion. @JetBlue made it more special!

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@JerryRice @goatfuel Today was a good day for GOAT Fuel 🐐 ⛽️

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Update: @AlaskaAir responded swiftly to me on this. I felt the love after all, and Julie took care of me and made this right. Thanks for the compassion.

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@AlaskaAir lacks humanity. Refused to waive a change fee on my flight purchased with miles due to my father being stuck in the hospital longer than expected. Extortion when the customer has a family emergency. Shame on you.

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Grunting sir on the squat rack with the tank-top cut into razor thin strips: Could you quiet-down so I can hear the Bieber in my headphones?

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@dleffel you were speeding (in the rain even) and texting while driving, it would seem. 😎

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@dleffel why did your multiple law-breaking merit a tweet? (I'm new to this.)

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

People need to learn how to text and drive properly!

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Although I had to give away my tix to his SF show, @AaronKaro still managed to mock me from afar through book-signing

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Finally...somebody else understands! https://t.co/G7Lwbh89Ve

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

I'm pretty anal about my asshole

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Sorry @Kazanjy, I think my twat is broken.

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@iliza Loved your show tonight. My gf @aurora_lights couldn't stop laughing at how you called her out on her entire pre-evening routine.

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Loving my childhood confidence! Clip-on shades, stylin outfit & the gut don't hurt either! #tbv #throwbackvacay

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

SEA to SFO @ Concourse N Terminal http://t.co/pF9AkG2G

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Advance sneak preview screening of "This Is 40" @ AMC Metreon 16 http://t.co/QMIFzyTs

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

@bonobosninjas, you guys might like how I put your pants to work. @chubbies might like me to make cut-offs out of them though

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Hey @chubbies and @thrillistsf, I heard you were looking for the prettiest Christmas Sweaters. Ours are purely innocent

[John Wayne Horton @johnwaynehorton]

Round 2! This pose is in honor of the Angry Orchard traditional hard cider (Cincinnati , OH) @ Urban Tavern http://t.co/28HSRenF