jonathanjamessmith

human. entertainment hyphenate.

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

@VaroMoney @votewithvaro - my vote is my individual representation of one American conscience - while the rest of the world bathes in #chaos, at least there’s that. #sweepstakes @JNettelsArt you?

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

@gordon_white You are an inspiration, brother! 💜🦾💜

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

Truer words never Tweeted, bruv. I don’t even like Frisbee Golf. You’re cool in my book, Biden. #lightwins2020

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

Beat COVID-19? A disease so deadly that you have to be tested to know that you have it? What about creepy Oompa Loompa kid touching? That’s a disease too and it should immediately disqualify your candidacy.

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

We have a president more interested in beating people at golf than beating COVID-19.

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

Yeah? Hell yea!

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

https://t.co/D4WAJoMtci

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

Guess what, you profiteering, self-celebrating entitled FUCK? The world will know how my dick tastes and smells after I pull IT Dallas-500-gangbang style out of your stupid ass. You took your shot and missed. I won’t. Seeya in court on October 22nd. The world is watching.

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

Because I loathe systemic injustice, I invited them one on one into the cell to see if they could hang. They, of course, could not. You listening, #news #cnn - I’ll give you an exclusive any time this Truman-Show bitch Warden wants to step out from behind his privilege

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

Also, COPS, if we’re living in a deadly pandemic, isn’t it kind of a death sentence to force someone without a broken shoulder and bleeding foot into 17 different cells brimming with piss, dirty TP and literal shit? Fuck you, asshole. I won’t shut up.

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

As a recent inmate in-custody, in cuffs, in jail, officers dislocated my right arm when I asked them to relax. This system is as broken as my HAND TO GOD. I don’t want to say “fuck the police” and mean it. Seriously, though, fuck COPS.

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

Officers, after taking my door key and letting a beautiful BLACK RABBIT escape out of its cage into the obviously crack-Addled streets of pedophilic Lawrenceville, told me I was the asshole. Okay, um, asshole.

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

@MaryLTrump Dig IT, dude. What kinda sunglasses you wearing these days. Future’s so BRIGHT that you gotta wear shades.

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

@GerardButler 💜🦾💜

[Gerard Butler @GerardButler]

Hi everyone! As you may have noticed, I’ve taken a bit of a “summer break” from social media. I don’t need to tell you that these are some crazy times we’re living in, and it’s more important than ever to look out for each other. As it’s #InternationalDayOfCharity today, what

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

Mr. President, if you don’t respect our troops, you can’t lead them.

[Mary L Trump @MaryLTrump]

For the first time in your life be brave: Resign and face the consequences.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

[jonathanjamessmith @jonathanjsmith]

I am Jack’s irritable bowel syndrome - I’d rather wipe my ass with a LIVE hand grenade than suffer another geriatric attempt at humor from an inane adrenachrome-guzzling technocrat.

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Perhaps a country in which over 170,000 people have died from a containable disease, 30 million are out of work, and American passports don't gain admittance to most of the world? Oh, wait.