In American culture, particularly within academic and corporate environments, a norm of politeness and conflict avoidance dominates. Direct negative feedback is often perceived as rude or may even carry legal and HR risks. Consequently, people default to a safe approach, relying on generic phrases, exaggerated enthusiasm like "Wow, this is amazing!" or evasive remarks such as "I don't know, it happens." This is not necessarily malicious intent but rather a social reflex. For someone accustomed to more direct or informal sincerity, much like your example of having drinks with friends, this behavior comes across as hypocritical and patronizing without offering any real substance.
In the highly competitive landscape of the United States, information, especially regarding the true reasons for failure, unwritten rules, or the actual state of affairs, is a form of currency. Sharing it for free means giving away a competitive advantage. Furthermore, being candid about topics like Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, political quotas, or the real value of a research topic carries significant reputational and institutional risks. An American professor or consultant will never tell you the truth if it could potentially be used against them. Silence or generic praise serves as a strategy to minimize personal risk.
American networking is frequently transactional in nature. The experiences described regarding meetups and consultants represent a classic market of illusions where individuals sell access to resources they do not actually possess. Genuine insider circles, such as established networks or closed professional cohorts, are built over years through shared backgrounds, including attending the same schools or belonging to the same social classes. Breaking into these networks through cold outreach is practically impossible.
I want to say something positive, but it's just darkness ahead. The future is as follows: Apple will listen to feedback about touch screen issues. They will earnestly try to fix it, by bloating up the entire macOS to be increasingly touch-friendly. It is year 2032 and we will reminisce about the days when macOS was primarily designed for mouse & click. It's over folks...
I am desperately rooting for Apple and I hope they disprove my thesis.