thorjeremy501

Here for the laughs. Independent in politics. Veteran.

[thorjeremy501 @jspires76]

For meals on deployments your choices are ground up camel's ass and ground up camel's taint.

[thorjeremy501 @jspires76]

@espn @GetUpESPN are you seriously going to talk about the NFL on Memorial Day?

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Yes my Tweets suck, but at least I don’t need to constantly retweet myself to prove it.

[thorjeremy501 @jspires76]

Has anyone ever met someone who is against term limits for elected officials?

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Your opinions on Foreign Policy pair well with your pierced nipples.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and gives them to Keith Richards.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Since the Free Speech Haters have started slithering away, I’ve noticed a sharp decline in the number of condescending, degrading, moronic comments, turns out the brainwashed communists were the very same dullards that didn’t appreciate sarcasm…. go figure.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Of all the teachers I’ve ever encountered, the one that left the biggest impression was Consequences.

[Gringo Starr @JakeDuarte43]

Wow! Charles Schwab went down faster than your Mom!

Gen-X investors right now. :)

[Brunette Bohemian @Jane_Doe82]

Are we like this cause we drank from the hose

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

I’m not inclined to Tweet every inane, vapid thought that happens to cross my mind throughout the day… of course, this probably isn’t the best example.

[thorjeremy501 @jspires76]

Why do companies put color dyes in pet food when our pets are color blind?

[thorjeremy501 @jspires76]

Opening up Champaign at 8pm. It's midnight somewhere.

[thorjeremy501 @jspires76]

People would be less likely to play on their phones if they were driving a manual transmission. Just saying

[Uncle Bob 🍩 @UncleBob56]

I keep my tweets in a draft's folder. My dad jokes in a dad-a-base.

[Toy Robot @justinmatic5000]

It's okay, Canada. Sometimes I also get so hot that people around me struggle to breathe

[mike☺︎ (silly joe armstrong) @PhilipJFried]

A ride-sharing app for Hell:

Handbask-It

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Walked into a lamp post once, resulting in a light injury.

[C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau]

When I was a Kid Social Media was playing outside with the Neighborhood Kids until the Streetlights came on, because that was Mom’s Rule.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

What base is it when you replace the batteries in her smoke detector with an oily rag.

[Drew (some assembly required) @dmc1138]

Instructor: "Welcome to salsa class! Who's ready to learn how to dance?"

Me, hiding tortilla chips bag: "There's been a misunderstanding."