_

[Tim Winton @timmwinto]

Had a bit of a blow up with the security guard at Coles because he reckoned 90 minutes was too long to spend standing in the Metamucil aisle. Eventually got him to admit the sheer amount of new flavours was enough to draw any man into a waking dream, and we parted as friends.

[wint @dril]

its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town

[Sam Street @samstreetwrites]

🇲🇪Zarko Pejanovic has become Montenegro's 12th annual Lying Down Champion.

The man from Podgorica went over 60 hours without getting up.

He said after winning the competition: "It wasn't difficult, I didn't even warm up."

[_ @jwatkin94]

@QLDFootballClub God that looks good

[Shane Warne @ShaneWarne]

Movie warning: "This film may contain nudity." Me: "Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time."

[ClickHole @ClickHole]

Find Out What Sigourney Weaver, Dr. Drew, And Mike Myers Have To Say http://t.co/rUL3ZB7ixm #TheySaidWHAT

[Dave @Mesut_Ausil]

The good thing is, no matter pathetic England are, due to centuries of brutal colonialism, making fun of them is never punching down

[Brisbane Lions AFLW @lionsaflw]

A premiership like you've never seen before 🚨 https://t.co/xS9WrEqKNC

Be a fly on the wall as the AFL takes you into the coaches box, following Craig Starcevich on the biggest day in the AFLW calendar. Stream 'Sound the Alarm' on AFL on Demand NOW 🔥 #Uncaged

[AFP News Agency @AFP]

#BREAKING China says 'nobody cares' about Australia Olympics diplomatic boycott

[Chelsea FC Women @ChelseaFCW]

Pure class, @SamKerr1! ⭐️

#CFCW #WomensFACupFinal

[Sofiya Alexandra @TheSofiya]

Just a reminder that Norm Macdonald wrote the best book dedication of all time

[Project Big Screen @ProjBigScreen]

The Norm Macdonald "moth Joke," one of the greatest jokes every told on television. https://t.co/daC9oPVPsU

[Sam Fishell @SamFishell]

the rodney dangerfield passage from norm's book is one of the funniest things i've ever read

[CommBank Matildas @TheMatildas]

MATILDAS LEGEND SAM KERR!

@samkerr1 has officially become @TheMatildas all-time leading goalscorer with 48 goals ⚽️

#AUSvUSA #WeAreMatildas

[_ @jwatkin94]

@lavosaurus 1st dose: sore arm at the injection side for ~36hrs
2nd dose yesterday: no symptoms at all

[NRL Boom Rookies @BoomRookies]

TOWNSVILLE - THE ORIGIN CITY

(via madmonday365 on Instagram)

[john cruckshank @johncruckshank]

Watch this

https://t.co/Z3OvJPiHnN