Karley Kamaris

If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

DoorDash be like would u like to tip Bartlebee $38 dollars for transporting ur Crunchwrap supreme 2.8 miles

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

It’s always jeepers creepers and never where’d you get those peepers

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

oh what so now I’m the weird one because I designed custom matchbooks for my house advertising a fake cocktail bar that my dog owns

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

what’s worse than communion season

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

Just kidding it needs to be Sema Glutide

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

My drag name is Daylight Savings

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

U ever just be a raggamuffin for so many days in a row that ur like ok I guess I am just a raggamuffin now

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

French is an extremely underrated salad dressing any opinion to the contrary is derogatory epithet

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

Lindsey Graham: I don’t have to testify about my lil phone calls if I don’t want to right 😉

Most Conservative Court of Appeals in the country: Love you to death, but you kinda have to.

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

Brad Pitt in Mr. & Mrs. Smith that’s it that’s the tweet

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

I’m ready for Christmas decorations

[Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus]

(subtly sussing out whether a potential new friend has a pool) So what kind of stuff do you do at home? do you ever submerge yourself

[Kumar🇺🇸 @datarade]

This could genuinely be a scene from the Office.

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

Y wasn’t Henry Cavill casted as Gaston in the live action Beauty and the Beast

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

Do u guys know why our teeth and eyes don’t count for insurance

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

HAGS

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

Gen Z listen here you little shits

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

*wakes up in a cold sweat* “WHERE is the the mantle clock with the spinning gold balls underneath it?”

[Karley Kamaris @karleyy7]

If I wanted to listen to Jimmy Buffett I’d just watch the Little Mermaid playa

[Pat Sajak @PatOnWheel]

Now imagine you’re on national TV, and you’re suddenly thrown a curve and you begin getting worried about looking stupid, and if the feather isn’t in your hat, where the heck can it be? You start flailing away looking for alternatives rather than synonyms for “hat.”