Kernooches

I'm why we can't have nice things.

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@RachelFeinstein great set at Village Underground on Wednesday #FuckYouScott

[MacGruber @Grubes69]

My dick is burning. Has somebody been talking about me?

[NYCEM - Notify NYC @NotifyNYC]

#alert The following individual is wanted in regards to the Chelsea explosion: Ahmad Khan Rahami, 28 year old male.

[Kernooches @kernooches]

Nailed it https://t.co/o4kRmOWkT5

[Amazon @amazon]

Relationship goals. https://t.co/uvVYVpFTSC

[Kernooches @kernooches]

I'M THAT SOMEONE!!! #SOEXCITED #ANDIJUSTCANTHIDEIT #GHOSTBUSTERS #SPOTHERO #ALLCAPS https://t.co/njetAivBbO

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@ridewithvia Dear Via, thanks for being so wonderful. Stay fabulous ❤️ #nyc #via

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@LindseyMargolis @JanineMontycroz #damagedgoods

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@LindseyMargolis @JanineMontycroz I cry for any number of reasons when in situations like that

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@JanineMontycroz it's more of an uncomfortable staring contest

[Kernooches @kernooches]

Always start and end meetings with a firm handshake and strong eye contact. #goodfortune… https://t.co/Qx0zt1XdyK

[Winnipeg's Bounce 99.9 @BounceRadio999]

Today Prince would have been 58. Minnesota Gov declared it #princeday & encourages everyone to wear purple

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@mr_seanhughes NAILED IT @figoamericano @TheSmoothBear @c2casiple @edkidd01 @GeorgioBassil @gusthafish

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@TheSmoothBear @fIirtation oh what I would give for a spot under that umbrella...

[Kernooches @kernooches]

So excited to watch my brother walk across the stage! Congrats, buddy! So proud!! #VCUSSW2016 #Yaaaay #graduation

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@JanineMontycroz [insert clip of me looking out a window on a rainy day, and "all by myself" playing in the background]

[Cakes @Cakes1todough1]

Q: Where does Napoleon keeps his armies?

A: His "sleevies".
#jokes #dropthemic

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@figoamericano @CBarrows

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@figoamericano @CBarrows not really. This whole thread stinks. Wish I could wipe it clean from my feed #spoofchat

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@wysamx @edkidd01 @YOitsRIPSKY "it's ok guys, we're just going in to take pictures"

[Kernooches @kernooches]

@NoteThemes it's mostly a complete lack of shame, and an insatiable thirst for puns.