Brian Jones

By day, I'm a mild-mannered outreach coordinator for the Dutchess County Office for the Aging. By night, I'm also mild-mannered. You expected tights and a cape?

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

The only prediction I ever get right is that the cats will urp on my floor within five minutes of my cleaning it. https://t.co/heql4EIOUB

[John Cleese @JohnCleese]

Well,you may be right. Or wrong. Read Philip Tetlock's research to see that we are all very,very bad at predicting https://t.co/ZYy04lzCvL

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@JohnCleese Balls? There you go assuming gender roles again. Harrumph.

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@emiliemunson @timesunion Why I subscribe. Keep at it. If we really are about “no one is above the law” in New York, our justice system needs to walk it like they talk it; and the job of a free press is to lean on our leaders, regardless of ideology, until they do the right thing.

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@emiliemunson @DaemonOneil We were assured that no one is above the law. Well?

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

Others have already critiqued the excess of birds in “The 12 Days of Christmas” but my wife wants to know just who invited these eight maids and nine ladies, and why milking and dancing instead of scooping the litterboxes?

[Joey Votto @JoeyVotto]

Vous n’existez pas!

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@jimmyfallon #DawnOfTheGratefulDead

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@JohnCleese My advice is to trei the høliday in Sweden next yër, and maybe they'll have sacked the people responsible by then.

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

The Oracle of Cincinnati, ladies and gentlemen. https://t.co/XqGGiwK2qe

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@Noahsyndergaard A guy of Scherzer’s stature gets that call, especially with the batter being 0-for-eternity against him.

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@CoachAdamTurner Uh-oh. The one name I knew I could pronounce correctly. Onward we go...best wishes, coach!

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@PreetBharara Same number as in Cuomo?

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@jayrayner1 And massively worse in the US where there are many more regulatory hurdles, if not outright bans on serving truly wild game.

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@pattonoswalt “Silver Rainbow” would’ve been the move.

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

This one goes to eleven. #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

Or do as my son does and sneeze into an older sibling. #ikeed

[The New York Times @nytimes]

The consensus guidance of health officials about coughing and sneezing: If no tissue is available, you should aim into your elbow, not your hand
https://t.co/Xj5z0D9Ng8

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

Part of the comeback you missed on Tuesday night. It's WAY louder and more fun if you show up in person. Next men's home games 1/25 and 26. @BardMBB

[Bard Athletics @BardAthletics]

Bard rallies from 15 down in the second half and ties it on this thunderous dunk by Justyn Rogers. Raptors go on to beat Union, 82-77. Gotta be SportsCenter worthy! @sctop10 @BardMBB #SCtop10 #d3hoops @AlijahRue_2 @howardmegdal @LLAthletics

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

#facepalm #MarriedLife

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing I'm a believer by The Monkees, because she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face.

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

Was it wrong that I started chanting passages from Revelation at the pollster who just called me?

[Brian Jones @knockatize]

@TheBloggess After having completed a five-hour vacation-ending drive complete with four hours of seat-back kicking plus Boston rush-hour traffic...gimme two bags.