I think people have a very tough time understanding that victims of a nonconsensual encounter offffften try to convince themselves for a long time that it was consensual before arriving to the conclusion that they were violated. It's too complicated for them to understand
neurodivergents in their late 20s/30s be like “OMFG bro, I’m so behind!” meanwhile you healed your inner child, stopped people pleasing, let go of needing everyone to understand you, stopped believing every thought in your head, and finally stopped being ashamed of your quirks. bro?? you’re not behind. you’re evolving.
It’s crazy bc for years you’ll be like “ohhh no that was just a bad hookup when I was 19” and then it finally clicks years later and then you move on but every few years something Happens and you witness tons more women grapple with the same realization and it never ends
what doesn't kill you introduces you to carl jung, marcus aurelius, epictetus, friedrich nietzsche, james baldwin, bell hooks, audre lorde, frantz fanon, paulo freire, joseph campbell, alan watts, ram dass, gary zukav, brene brown, gabor mate, shadow work, attachment theory, nervous-system regulation, ancestral trauma, existentialism, stoicism, meditation, emotional intelligence, neuroplasticity, metacognition, pattern recognition, game theory, delusional optimism, boundaries and discernment.
I've been reading a lot of women sharing their stories over the last couple days and it's made me reflect on a lot of women I've known over the decades who just... changed. Abruptly. Like, something happened that radically changed their personality. I can only guess, but...
“I’m embarrassed I had sex with this guy. Instead of telling no one it happened & denying it to anyone who asks I’m, going to go and make a false statement to the police so they can scrutinise me, investigate, and it might get reported in the papers” - women according to idiots
I love you enough to let your life remain yours. I miss you and I won’t use my missing you as a reason to disturb your life. That space is where self agency begins & one of the most difficult lessons intimacy gives us.
Have you ever had a close relationship with someone then all of a sudden something just clicks and you realize just how unkind they have been to you in vulnerable moments and you have the epiphany of epiphanies that this person truly doesn’t like you? And now you just can’t unsee it.
one thing i’ve found from putting myself out there is that people often meet you at the level of vulnerability you offer. for example, because i write openly about love, fear, longing, heartbreak, uncertainty, people send me extraordinarily intimate dms, emails, and comments. strangers tell me about whole inner worlds i otherwise never would have encountered
it’s made me realise that vulnerability can be permission-giving. when you reveal something real, other people seem to feel safer revealing something real back
one of the most beautiful parts of writing publicly has been being entrusted with these glimpses into other people’s lives. one of the internet’s great gifts, when it works like this
Some days require profound reflection and personal development. Other days require good food, an excellent outfit and absolutely no lessons whatsoever.