Kerry's Ego

Left my train of thought in El Segundo YNWA

[Kerry's Ego @krssca72]

I'm not intimidating....

You're just a pussy

[Kerry's Ego @krssca72]

All I want For Christmas is a Bluetooth device without an obnoxiously loud British woman to tell you when it's on

[BadMummy @WineMummy]

All I’m getting for Christmas is fat and drunk.

[Janie @BeardRidingMinx]

All I want for Christmas is a weirdo to call my own

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

This cocaine smells like I’ll be peeking out the blinds at 4 in the morning while call in sick to work.

[Daz? @HomeProbably]

I’ve really got to stop saying “fuck this” out loud.

[Steve @stevehasatweet]

If I could monetize my effortless ability to be an anxious, emotional weirdo I'd be set for life.

[Kerry's Ego @krssca72]

New and creative ways to elude sleep going on here.....

Now I've got this fear of nightmares. About a pack of angry, hiking grandmas in a canyon. Attacking me.
From a Copper Fit commercial I've seen lately.

[Jamitupin @jamitupin]

Here, let me blow your trumpet.

[its_all_sexy_to_me @ItsAllCrazyToMe]

Maybe I like rejection you don’t know

[trishbish @TheSuccuBish]

It's 4:20 , do you know where your stoner is?

[AllTheWorldIsASigh @JeepGirlGA]

And one day the sheep will understand the lions roar.

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

You don't like eggnog?

I'll drink a half gallon of eggnog and still fuck your sister.

[Kerry's Ego @krssca72]

Holy shit, I just retweeted a couple of my own tweets.
And I gotta say, it was fucking exhilarating being that pompous.

[Kerry's Ego @krssca72]

You say "internet whore" like that's a bad thing.

[Kerry's Ego @krssca72]

I'm broken and I huffed all the glue....

[Kerry's Ego @krssca72]

Don't tell me I'm no catch lady.
I can eat a dozen sausage rolls while beatboxing the Sanford and Son theme song.