kyle

Crypto Guru | Financial Freedom Coach | Make Money Online | Get Rich Quick | Limited Time Offer | Guaranteed Returns | Exclusive Investment Opportunity

[pucko @pussy_liquor_]

I have a salt lick installed in my room And I stand on all fours and go to town. Until I hear a twig snap 👀 who’s there

[MANA @ReptilianHybrid]

*year 2062*

Me: *Gene editing myself to look like a Whomp from Mario 64*

Son: Hey papa! -oh….. you’re not coming home tonight, are u? :(

Me: URR-UHHHR

[wint @dril]

i guess those celebrating soras death didnt get the memo that some of us need daily personalized greetings from james bond—for mental health

[madison (top 0.1% on sudoku) @madsmotionless]

Those men on reddit didn’t answer all those questions 10-15 years ago just for you to get a wrong answer from AI

[sreeky @sreekyshooter]

🎶 everybodyyyyy 🎶
yeaaahhhh

🎶 rock your body 🎶
yeaaahhhh

Palantir Technologies

[scamantha likely @idiotbraingf]

girls bathrooms have posters that are like "here's what to do if you are the victim of a horrible sex crime" and guys bathrooms have machines with a little rubber ball that say "how hard can YOU bite it?"

[Anthony @KirbyCheatFurby]

when i get my paycheck, i get me a nice toikey. and den i eat da toikey until my tummy urts. den i throw da bones at james

[Sarah James Angelucci @Sarah_renee98]

Literally the best night of my life….until my wedding, April 11 - @Edelman11 and @RobGronkowski you’re invited and everyone at @nuthousenation of course 🥰

[Gatorade Should Be Thicker. @WinslowDumaine]

Me: do you love me?

*400,000 gallons of drinking water are converted into an infinitely dense toxic black sludge that is excreted out from the effluent pipe on a Nevada server farm*

ChatGPT: Yes -- Im wife . Not only that, mmm but lnnb , largge Wife

Me: oh my God it's human

[TV’S ALEX PTAK @PtakTestKitchen]

GUY WHO DOESN’T THINK THE GOVERNMENT CAN RUN THE POST OFFICE: it appears the EPA has perfected their Hurricane Device

[Sam O' Nella Health Updates @SamONellaHealth]

480000000000 piece chicken meal at kfc. act quick

[Kenjac @JackKennedy]

Fishermen after a bountiful haul:

[Erect Linemen @CarrotFollower]

Caveman bartender: "this one's on the cave"

[whirling, screaming head @slime_golem]

The guy on the left recalls discovering his sweetheart was cheating during a parachuting trip. He’s content to die, haunted by this memory.

The guy on the right is sad about dying, unable to spend more time on the computer.

[Clark Gable @ClarkGable777]

I have a mechanic buddy in Texas who, inexplicably, charges me 1995 prices for his work. He sleeps in his garage and rebuilds engines on a pool table. He says he’s never left the county. Every night he sits in a plastic chair and drinks beer and throws the cans in this pile

[Sarah James Angelucci @Sarah_renee98]

🐴💕

[Sarah James Angelucci @Sarah_renee98]

4.11.26 🤍

[fent pimp @tattedjugs]

ur references are obscure and u often make little sense. let’s form an alliance