kyle

he/him • former espresso pushing escort and serial hobbyist, currently a good little cog

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

nvm we went all the way right in 2025 😔

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

Sexual harassment trainings in 2025:

Your coworker Henrik is showing off his crypto wallet to another employee and you catch a glimpse of an NFT that depicts his fursona pleasuring his favorite anime protagonist.

Is this sexual harassment?

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

you ever take ubers where you think, “damn you’ve been letting the intrusive thoughts get to you too huh?”

[kev @caffeinatedkev_]

sad to say i was laid off from @Medium :(

hoping this is my chance to finally join web3 full time!!

if anyone is hiring for UX research or PM roles, hmu ❤️ can’t wait to be building with everyone!

[Jessica Chen @lettucejess]

you either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become proficient in microsoft powerpoint

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

@benwafflechen this city will make you co-sign a lease on a lexus and pay the brunch bill for all of its friends

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

really thought i was the main character for watching in the mood for love on my flight but the guy next to me was watching a nature doc about bears

…i am but a supporting character

[Jessica Chen @lettucejess]

@kyle_senpai nobody:
kyle: so far today I've had an apricot

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

@lettucejess an apricot, a handful of whatever hmart chips are in the pantry, and a sustained kegel for lunch keep the hunger and low blood sugar away

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

finally achieved the coveted tumblr era thigh gap 🕺🏻 huge shoutout to stress and poor work life balance

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

the kicker is that i’m not actually unaware of my surroundings so i’m probably just incredibly dense…damn that girl was onto something

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

wish i could be as oblivious as my cat

he’s sleeping peacefully but what he doesn’t know is that we ran out of wet food so he’s getting dry food tomorrow

*sigh*

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

this old tweet reminded me of the time a girl got frustrated at me bc i couldn’t tell that she liked me so she posted “are you actually oblivious or just incredibly dense?” on her fb wall and i liked it bc i thought it was funny

i’m probably more oblivious than my cat tbh

[Jessica Chen @lettucejess]

Study abroad? I barely know her

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

@caffeinatedkev_ i’m also sans oil so this just gave me the idea of frying gyoza in duck fat

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

remembering the time i was on a work trip (which consisted of me isolating in my hotel room with covid) and accidentally texting my manager instead of my gf after he got dropped off some snacks - in which i said “hehehe” and referred to myself as an “old god”

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

OR - that neutering/spaying pokémon was a common practice before the modern era to keep domestic pokémon populations at bay due to a lack of advanced infrastructure for keeping pokémon

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

the fact that pokémon in pokémon legends arceus don’t breed when they’re in a pasture implies that nurseries in the modern pokémon era likely dabble in unsavory pokémon husbandry practices

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

pro tip: do it on the 5 for instant death

[kyle @kyle_senpai]

y’all are out here going to the chiropractor for adjustments??

just hop on the 405, cock your head to one shoulder, and hope that a random bump does the trick