Kyle

Today I offer you bad tweets. Tomorrow? Who knows. He/Him

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

Me 2 hours after ET wanders into my backyard

[Johnny @JohnnyGiunta_]

Clayton Kershaw vs Max Scherzer tonight is so sick. We might never get a matchup again of 2 pitchers with 3000k strikeouts each. Enjoy it folks

[lexiiiiiiiiiiiii @blondspit]

Nobody remembers what your job title is but they will remember how hot your wife is

[Mohammad @MargBarAmerica]

jayson tatum is a good basketball player, don’t get me wrong. i just think he lacks a rich inner world.

[djkelltown @djkelltown]

#canvsusa #4nations #canadavsusa

[philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_]

"I want to perform their favorite song, but you know they love to sue" - Kendrick Lamar

[maha @mahaaaay]

donald trump’s tariffs are creating a sense of nationalism only found in this country during the winter olympics

[Chairman Birb Bernanke @Bonecondor]

I'm plotting on your rise bro. i'm literally up in the lab scheming on beautiful abundance for you. I'm cooking up ways for a rising tide to lift all of our boats. I'm praying for your gains. I'm lighting a candle to your inevitable splendor dude

[Cade Onder @Cade_Onder]

me seeing Odysseus shoot the arrow through the axes in 70MM IMAX in 2026

[Stella Chat BPD @redrum_panda]

Its crazy how if you get good grades they just let you raw dog adhd your whole life

[chase @_chase_____]

watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would is one of life’s greatest challenges

[sophie @netcapgirl]

“yeah 4pm friday works great for a meeting”

[cold 🥑 @coldhealing]

having an office job is great for forgetting your big existential problems, getting washed away by the tedium of the everyday. i want to be furious when someone forgets to send me the excel file by 3pm, that's how i know i'm centered in this mortal plane

[brit @booritney]

masculine behavior isn't smoking cigars or gaining muscle mass. it's getting hopelessly, life-ruiningly addicted to online chess

[𖧧 @mothintoflames]

yes we're not!!!

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Is everything ok bro you seem burdened by what has been

[𖧧 @mothintoflames]

great news for kafka fans