itslacyyyy

@losing_lacy 's backup account ✨ edtwt only !

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@merlouka yes the guilt is terrible 😭 i'm trying to tell myself clearly my body needed it otherwise i wouldn't have craved it so badly for so long but the guilt is still there and i hate it

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

i'm definitely a fake vegetarian, i had chicken again for dinner tonight. i don't know why i've been craving meat so fucking badly it's not even funny. my iron levels are fine, my total protein levels are a tiny bit low but nothing crazy 🤧

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@merlouka omg i've been craving fish tooo!!! no fucking idea why and it's pissing me off and i feel so guilty for caving and having chicken but the cravings were just so intense

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@calcounttt eeep i definitely don't think i am 😭 but i will try do better with it!

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

is a pulse/hr of 55 normal?

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@hachikonull oh noooo i'm so sorry 😭

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

i feel strangely validated when my gp pulls out the smaller arm cuff to check my obs

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@steviepeanuts_ yes i take lactulose! the only thing i dont like is it can cause upset stomach and gas as well as loose stools but i honestly prefer the loose stools than constipation. movicol or other osmotics i find dont tend to work for me at all 🙃

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

19 days til my appointment with my new psychologist, this can't come fast enough, i need someone to talk to 😭

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

i really wanna get a piercing but i'm meant to be continuing ECT next month and i'll need to be able to take all my piercings out for it and i dont think anything will heal within 4-5 weeks

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@bpdlimia thank you 🤍🤍🤍

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@bpdlimia ok thank you! i have another appointment with her in a few days so i might ask for referral for a blood test and ecg then

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@achlys_ed omg that's wild!! i'm so sorry you've had to deal with this for so long too and from such a young age. it's awful :( i feel like it's so hard to recover when you've literally never known any different.

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

i literally have memories of being 7-8 years old and restricting food and thinking i was the only person in the world doing that because why would anyone do that?! but i cannot believe im still doing this 23 fucking years later

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@softlystarvingg yesss!! like i would never try insinuate my ed is more severe than someone else's (it's awful for everyone) but i do feel like there's a difference if it's ALL you've ever known :( im sorry you've experienced this too!

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@bpdlimia i have been having some chest pains and dizziness, and my pulse is usually never below 65-70. i actually don't remember the last time is was in the 50s. i'm not overly worried rn but i guess im a tiny bit worried it might continue to go lower 🤧

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

ok why the actual fuck am i afraid to take vitamins?! like my head is screaming i cannot take them because they are secretly filled with thousands of calories and will make me fat

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@indiezero i promise you aren't !! but ik exactly how you feel. gaining anything after being very severely underweight feels so foreign and uncomfortable and it's an awful feeling :( but i promise you what i and what others see of you is not fat or ugly or disgusting! <3

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@Namil0v3rxx @Anesczy @greedoonwii ngl someone in recovery shouldn't be on edtwt and if they choose to be that's a risk they are choosing to take

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@calcounttt not too bad, only changes around 15-20bpm

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@indiezero i stg if i become medically unstable before i lose my inpatient weight im going to lose it 😭

[itslacyyyy @lacysbackup]

@calcounttt it's never lower than 60, usually always closer to 65-75, even when i was like low bmi 14s 🤧