Lauren Lance

Paranormal Podcaster at Mysteriousnesses. Co-host at Something Planet Podcast. Vocalist. Comedian. Queer erotica author.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

If you’re not into pegging, are you really a feminist?

[Pokémon GO @PokemonGoApp]

What’s in the box? 👀

You can RT and find out!

Roaming Form Gimmighoul can now be caught in #PokemonGO! We’re celebrating by giving away Gimmighoul-themed prizes!🥳🎉

To claim:

Follow us on Twitter
RT this post with #GOGimmighoul

You’ll get a code to redeem. Let’s GO!

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

@davebanking @RollingLoud $LaurenLance #davesweepstakes

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Low key irritated that Zola won’t let me add a butt plug to this wedding registry.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Mom: I just wanted to warn you you’re genetically predisposed to hemorrhoids so watch out for that. Unless you take after your dad, hopefully you have a lot of dad in your ass!
Me: 💀

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

This is Trixie KiKi Binks ❤️

[Neon Grizzly @neongrizzlyshop]

I'm gonna give out some codes for free enamel pins to people who quote tweet this with a picture of their pet looking derp. This is Cinnamon she's a fox.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Am I starting my period, or was it the dinner I made of jalapeño poppers last night? 🥴

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Just another lazy Sunday sitting around wondering what spider meat tastes like 🤔 🕷

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Using Twitter feels like screaming fart jokes into the void, but here we are.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Mfers out here expecting you to Uber over to their house to Netflix and chill.
Bitch this is not Pussy Prime.
Pick a girl up or you can fuck something from a warehouse.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Repurposing “never forget” for Jan 6th is my new favorite way to troll maga idiots. #neverforget #January6th #Jan6th

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

@commentiquette Must be nice, I had to put mine on a payment plan

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

ASMR content creators will strangle you in your sleep with a smile on their face.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Sometimes I think about my old sub and wonder who’s mean to it now 🤔

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

This may come as a disappointment to some, but a relief to most - my 2022 #NewYearsResolution is to go an entire year without a nip slip. With hard work, a lot of duct tape and dedication, I think I can at least make it to March.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

@JokeWizard Dry or wet?

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

@commentiquette Looking forward to more celebrity deaths in 2022! 🤞✨💖

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

@commentiquette Merry EXACT DATE OF CHRISTS’S BIRTH YOU COMMIE BASTARD

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

The new #MatrixResurrections movie is a literal cry for help in the first 20 mins. No one wanted to make this movie, but the studio held them to it.

[Lauren Lance @laurenelance]

Dog the Bounty Hunter showing up to find Brian Laundrie is the second season of Tiger King we’ve all been waiting for.