Lautaro

🪐

[zito 🥷 @kiziton_]

Calmest nigga ever but watch how you speak to me

[‎Gabe Follower @gabefollower]

we live in a black mirror episode

[Carlos Maslatón @CarlosMaslaton]

En Purmamarca, Jujuy, abril de 2024.

[ElBuni @therealbuni]

Totalmente feliz el escoces por la victoria de Argentina

[Carlos Maslatón @CarlosMaslaton]

También me preguntó el oficial de migraciones yankee a mi entrada de hoy a USA cuanta plata traía. Le dije, 8666 dólares en billetes sucios, viejos y rotos falsificados por la Reserva Federal. Cómo falsificados me dice? Y claro digo, es así desde que Roosevelt se afanó el oro.

[Clarín @clarincom]

EL FUNEBRERO QUE SE SACÓ UNA FOTO CON MARADONA ERA EL LÍDER DE LA TOMA EN PATERNAL

Después de 26 años, el Gobierno desalojó un predio tomado con sentencia firme. El operativo dejó tres detenidos. Al ingresar, la policía identificó como líder a Diego Molina, despedido tras sacarse una foto con el cuerpo de Maradona durante el velatorio. Había sido condenado por profanación de cadáver y difusión de imágenes íntimas.

Dónde se realizó el operativo: https://t.co/0oqsxmFmMu

(+) en Clarín: https://t.co/8V4X8pcfYr

[Mauro @elmauro1]

A los 20 años tu sueño tiene que ser tener un bar en la playa. O sacar 9 de promedio en la UCA y conseguir un puesto en una Multinacional con gimnasio y beneficios. Por eso toda esta generación de pendejos politizados con vocación de estatal es nefasta. Y no importa para qué lado sea: todos quieren lo mismo que toda la casta que nos repugna.

[Piro @piroabrazo]

Me nombras a la Suran y automaticamente tengo que traer a colación el mejor texto jamás escrito sobre un auto.

La Suran, el repelente de vulvas, el antipanochas, el espantaconchas definitivo.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Marian Herrera @marianherrrera]

Macri: espero que cante una de Tan Biónica

Milei y Lilia: https://t.co/zWKzKTnpEp

[Arrepentidos de Milei @ArrepentidosLLA]

No es IA. No es un capítulo de Black Mirror. Es el presidente de la República Argentina en medio de una crisis ecónomica fenomenal y escándalos de narcotráfico

[Daii @daiudaai]

Mi papa subió una foto diciendo “feliz día maestro” a Maradona y no a mi mama que es docente. Jajajajajaj dios mio

[Marian Herrera @marianherrrera]

“No te digo que votes peronismo, te digo que lo comprendas. Dejá de enojarte con donde naciste” 🎯

[Facundo @rfacup_]

hoy negreaste 12 horas para pagarle el sueldo a estas personas

[doll 🎀 @lowbimbo]

abrindo os stories do casal mais infeliz e miserável que vc conhece

[yo qué sé @memefeos]

no entiendo por que la gente no aplaude cada vez que termino de hablar

[HARMON @TheBeAManGuy]

IF YOU CAN’T FIND
SOMETHING AT THE STORE
DON’T ASK FOR HELP
JUST WALK OUT

BE A MAN

[🧬⛓️ @lovqless]

si pensas que solo por el hecho de que sea gorda no tenga para comer sos muy corto de mente, la comida más barata son las que más carbohidratos y harinas tienen pero q se puede pedir de una cuenta fan de milei