the tortured lelas department

professional tot wrangler, amateur sky appreciator
the spirit is willing but the flesh is anxious

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

never not missing art school

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

when was the last time we asked the siberian orchestra about their pronouns? #ally

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

you’re actually kidding me with this

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

adidaacnh

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

shit like this almost makes ya glad to be alive

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

stop telling me about corn sweat if you’re not going to tell me when it will end 😭

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

ㅤ

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

when ur birthday passed and i didn’t call 😕

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

casually hanging out with a work friend when she’s like “i’m pretty sure i have a signed Brand New poster from when they did an acoustic set at Vintage Vinyl before their show” and then whipped it out and showed me and I…

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

@emolizardqueen give her my congrats

[Shane 🦧 @TheMonkeyJungle]

Showing up 2 hours late to work with tiger face paint from the zoo

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

i forgot how much being single makes you feel like a prey animal

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

i love june because gay but also for that special day each year where someone mentions donut day and i realize it came and went without me even noticing and i bask in the peaceful relief 💕

[eli yudin @eliyudin]

“are you just going to lay in bed all day”

would you judge a frog resting atop a lilypad? would you criticize a flower for enjoying the sun??

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

when you sneeze in public and strangers say bless you and then you have to sneeze again but they already said bless you so you just have to die i guess

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

multiple people have now told me they thought of me the first time they heard down bad

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

@AleciaMcLean like you’re gonna piss yourself when he storms the window dude and also you can’t tell if that’s a chimp or a gorilla

[the tortured lelas department @lelanardo]

one year into working at the zoo here are some things i’m an asshole about:
- cheetah vs leopard spots
- “orangutang”
- “jagwire”
- monkeys vs apes
- making animal sounds at animals