Elyssa Allen

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

Omg this is the only funny thing about the election right now 😂😂😂#ElectionNight #erection #news #Election2016

[BuzzFeed Canada @BuzzFeedCanada]

hahaha we are not anxious what do you mean, it's FINE

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

😂😂😂 https://t.co/kUrj9xnblz

[paperwash© @PaperWash]

Here is what the electoral map would look like if only millennials voted in the election

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

I wish setting our scales back about 15 pounds was a thing like setting our clocks back an hour.

Fatass Savings Time.

[Michael Blackman @MikeRBlackman]

Today is #DaylightSavingTime, except for Matthew McConaughey because time is a flat circle.

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

#IveGotABadFeelingAbout the McDonald's I ate last night.

[Russell Thomas @rvthomasart]

Resilience and Courage, 30" x 48", acrylic on canvas, in support of @FMUnitedWay. @ColinHartigan #ymm #ymmarts

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

Loud mouth breathers are just too much! #keepitdown

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

It's a green cup instead of a red cup get over it!If you don't like it then save some money and don't drink it #starbucks #firstworldproblem

[Dr. Kristopher Wells @KristopherWells]

Who would have ever thought Alberta would be leading the way in Canada on LGBTQ issues?! Now that's real progress we can all be proud of!

[Stephanie Kahan @stephaniekahan]

OMG, my heart is exploding right now. Dad of the year just passed out candy to everyone on the flight so his 3 year old could trick or treat

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

Halloween is about fun and dressing up, and being with the people you love. But mostly it’s about scaring celebrities.

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

When you are dead, you won't even know that you are dead. It's a pain felt by others... Same thing when you are stupid. #smh #wow #quote

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

Use meth to lose weight #ExtremelyBadAdvice

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

There is something about being at the gym at 5am that makes my day start out on the right foot. #goodmorning #motivation

[Elyssa Allen @lifeofely]

You have to be odd to be number one. #quotes #truth #normalgetsyounowhere