paperwash©

moonstone

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18: can I buy a bottle of wine?

USA: no that's illegal & irresponsible

18: can I go $50,000 into debt for education?

USA: we encourage it

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@MikeWasBad

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tonight is the FULL MOON, make sure to leave out a glass of water by a window and in the morning drink it and you'll get werewolf powers

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@Shut_up_Marissa I will tickle tackle you into the void if you take my hat

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@dafloydsta @CharmandBrains Bring back favstar lol

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@Shut_up_Marissa I made these just for you

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oh you like cold pizza? is that so? you walk into pizzerias and ask for their two coldest slices? is that right? you go to restaurants and order the Cold Pizza? is that what you're doing? when the delivery comes you put that pie in the fridge for an hour before eating? fuck off

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@Shut_up_Marissa Don't do it there either

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@AbsoluteYouKnit

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@AbsoluteYouKnit

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agent: these contracts are OK, but we need to make your name sound more "French"

The Bron Jimmy: why??

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@rovabtw 6th grade, baby sharks

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@NFlirtGamer It must be reheated!

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@CharmandBrains It was my proudest moment

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@BruceThompson51 You don't like it, something else is going on deeper and it's ok

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@zedsdead45 that's what Judas said right before he betrayed Jesus

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@MischiefKnight_ in no scenario is cold bread better than warm bread or toasted bread

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@standingh20 no, Jesus invented bread to be served warm

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me: [paying $500 dollar monthly subscription] I'm in so much pain

doctor: have you tried ibuprofen?

[B Wood @BeastOfWood]

Too slow squiggly boi