Elizabeth Grace

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

@xSh00ky @bellathorne You should’ve just stopped at ‘sorry you had to deal with it’ mate.

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

@criscre123 This happened with my father when he got dementia- I’m so sorry, I know how hard it was for mum 💔

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

@graziemana @the_point_mag I think you just view women as rivals, which is sad and vain. And then you write like all women think that way. Embarrassing take.

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

The bags under my eyes are Strandbags.

[Floyd @dafloydsta]

[first day as a ghost]
BOSS: ur job is to scare people
ME: ok
[later]
ME: *whispering to millennials* you'll never pay off ur student loans

[MisoSilly @SeiYoung83]

[morgan freeman narrating my life]

She's still eating

[Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn]

[cat mom giving birth]

Cat dad: Aw, a healthy kit-
WHAT THE, twins!
OMG triplets...holy shit, 4?
(sweating)...5?
WTF IS HAP- 6 *faints*

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

@nateakin I don't fully understand why it's not appropriate?

[FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud]

I like to respond to witty anecdotes with 'sounds like my honeymoon', followed by a guffaw. This never gets old and is why I'm so popular.

[Swim Jeans 👖 @ShortSleeveSuit]

Her: Do you love animals?

Me [thinking back to when I told a moose I loved it but it didn't reciprocate]: It's complicated

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

When I say 'I ate a lot', I DON'T mean skinny-white-girl 'ate a lot'. Please do not mistake me.

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

*Apart from that one time you had a fever and thought it would be a good idea to hack yourself a fringe with paper scissors

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

DFW you win an $800 studio photography session but then you realise you haven't had a haircut for months*

[Vicalicious @thevickster_sa]

Assert dominance by leaving spelling errors in your tweets, so no one steals them.

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

Is it ok that I'm 24 and I still only own one proper bra

[Matt Smethurst @MattSmethurst]

The tragedy of prosperity preaching is that one need not be spiritually awakened to embrace it. One needs only to be greedy.

—@JohnPiper

[Floyd @dafloydsta]

[first date]

HER: I like a man who can show his true feelings.

ME: *leans in close* I don't care what you like.

[Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly]

*getting tased over and over*
I DON'T CARE, PLUTO IS A PLANET

[Elizabeth Grace @liz_brimage]

No problem yet exists that a mind fuelled by a cheese platter cannot overcome