Elizabeth Clark

I just wanna drink saké with my posse 🍶

[trash jones @jzux]

coffee isn’t enough. i need to be struck by lightning

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

Why is it when the doctor’s appointment finally arrives the “ailment” magically disappears or seems less serious? My Dr. must think I’m absolutely crazy because I tell them it will re-emerge when I leave there.

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

going from your 20s to your 30s should be like leveling up, but in this economy? it’s just level. there is no up.

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

I would rather fold 1000 fitted sheets than talk about your wedding one more time.

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

@GAYla_Just 😕

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

New Girl on Hulu is just not the same. I have my first therapy appointment next Wednesday. These two things may or may not be associated.

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

@Shuadoorn Pink Pepperoni Pizza

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

even my doc marten collection is utterly exaggerated.

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

if the apocalypse does come, my downfall will be the unreasonable shoe choices i’ve made.

[depths of wikipedia! @depthsofwiki]

this is a very satisfying image and now i want a layer by layer comparison of every layered food

[ce n'est pas erica @sourhoestarter]

i bring a certain sylvia plath vibe to the aux that people don’t really like

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

@GAYla_Just you’re my favorite kinda party

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

It’s 7:30 in the morning, you’re talking on the phone with your mom long distance. She casually suggests you drink her Pinot Grigio so it doesn’t go bad. It’s been on the counter for a week. AHappy holidays to you and yours.

[Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel]

webmd wrapped. how many times did my tummy hurt this year

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

Friends: What do you want for your birthday?!

Me: to cleanup the mess made by my former selves. Also, free tampons would be nice.

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

Update: I spray painted my squatty potty purple.

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

I understand now why you have to show ID when buying spray paint. I want to spray paint everything now.

[pj @pjayevans]

Drinking beers at the bar and I look around and literally like 12 people are copying me

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

Disappointed that I wasn’t automatically enrolled in a lint roller of the month club when I adopted this long-haired shedding demon 🐈

[Elizabeth Clark @lizzystarrdust]

Waiting on my first paycheck as a new teacher to buy me something real special.

A 6-pack of brand new contact lenses.